I came to a depressing realization today. I was reminded. of just how infantile Gavin is. The reality is that Gavin is a 2 year old in a 10 year olds body. Elliott Richard is more emotionally mature.
When you get past Gavin’s physical size/age and look at him for who he is you see a baby or toddler. Gavin has fits or meltdowns just like Emmett John does. The problem is that Gavin is as big and strong as a 10 year old pubescent boy. I have a really hard time seeing this most of the time. Honestly, I usually just see an out of control 10 year old boy. I fail to recognise his “true” age and I don’t know how to remember that. It’s impossible to understand what I mean until you see a 10 year old boy completely melting down like a 2 year old. Your instinct is to react as though he’s 10 years old but in reality he isn’t.
Regardless Gavin has to be accountable for his actions. He will simply continue to get more and more dangerous if we don’t curb the behaviour now. If he throws a fit in public when he’s older (16,17,18,19 or 20 years old) he’s going to get arrested. No one is going to see (let alone care) that he’s a toddler in an adults body.
One of the things most people don’t know about is the gap between physical age and emotional age. The common assumption is that kids like Gavin are poorly disciplined or just spoiled brats. As with many things Autistic kids are more then meets the eye.
I can totaly relate Rob. Marc is 12 but 5 years old mentaly and emotionaly. He looks normal as anyone else. Till he has a meltdown or even the way he comunicates. I get upset because I just wish he could act his age. Then I have to remember its not his fault if someone stares at him…I just stare back at them. He is not a side show people he is a little boy in a preteen body. Till there is more recognition of Autism then we will allways feel like outcasts. I just have to keep repeating to Marc that we need to try and not act out like he does sometimes. Thing is I'm always repeating my self and it dosn't get through to Marc. Ignore the people out there that say things like oh he must be a brat and smack his butt and make him behave. ughhhhhhhh. I would like to tell them to stop being so damn judge mental and more understanding this is a real dissorder and our kids cannot help what they do. We are doing our best to control and teach them. Everyday I look at my son and know I'm blessed. We just have to be there for each other and Marc and I are here and saying prayers for your family everyday.
Lizze and I were talking the other night and said we should try and have a date night once a month if you guys are interested (assuming sitters are available). Even if it's a dollar movie and Denny's or something like that.
Does that sound like something you guys would be interested in?
I can relate. My son is 15 now and can still meltdown. I think behaviors are the hardest part of dealing with autism because it takes a multiple approach AND coordination on the part of everyone. Regardless of WHY our children meltdown, we not only have to eliminate (to the extent possible) the stressor but also and simultaneously help them develop an ACCEPTABLE response behavior so that injury, jail or worse does not occur. Learning self modulation is a difficult and ongoing process for NT people…how much more for our children?
Sounds great to me! It would be great to have some adult company!
I'm all for it…we don't have to do anything special, just a little adult company would be great.Lets try to make it happen.