I want to share this with you because my admitting this and talking about it, perhaps we can quash some of the stigma associated with families in need.
Unfortunately, our lives have taken a turn for the more challenging.
The issue with my bank haven’t been worked out yet and I’m beginning to think they never will. Anyway, that’s really put a hurtin’ on our financial situation. We basically lost $2,400 and that has been devastating for us.
We aren’t able to absorb that kind of loss or any loss for that matter.
Unfortunately, we have hit a point that we were in desperate need of help. In order to make sure our family survived this period of time we had to visit a local food bank. Rather, Lizze went because it was easier than staying home with boys and it’s something that she wanted to do for our family.
I’m truly grateful for her doing this for us. I’ve had my share of swallow my pride moments as well. It’s not easy and in my opinion, takes a great deal of courage.
I’m aware that there is a stigma attached to things like this because people tend to make assumptions about those who have to visit these places.
You would be really be surprised at the type of people that visit the food banks.
We’ve met teachers, small business owners, parents and grandparents. People who you wouldn’t realize like, friends and family have been to these places as well.
There’s nothing to be ashamed of because you’re far from the only one that has fallen on hard times.
Will people judge? Sadly, they will.
Should you let this get you down? Absolutely not! It’s not easy to shake off that kind of judgement but seeking help for your family is not something to be embarrassed of.
In my opinion, it takes a courageous person to swallow their pride and walk into one of these places and admit that you need help. You should be proud of yourself for having the wherewithal to do that.
I can’t really articulate just how proud of Lizze I am for not only doing this today for our family, but doing this for our family while she’s in as much pain as she was.
I would have liked to go with her but we didn’t want to expose them to this. Not because we were ashamed but rather because we didn’t want to worry them, especially the King of Anxiety himself, Elliott. As far as they are concerned, everything is just fine and that’s the way it should be.
Truth be told, I wish things were different and this kind of thing wasn’t necessary. I’m doing everything in my power to be as self-sufficient as humanly possible, all while having my hands tied behind my back. All I can do just isn’t enough right now.
While, I’m not ashamed to admit that we need help, I’m not proud of it either.
With that said, I’m so incredibly thankful that there is help available and that we are strong enough to graciously accept it.
Please don’t ever let anyone bring you down for seeking out help when you need it most. Whenever you do what’s best for your family, you should be proud, especially when it’s not easy to do.
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I think that experiences like this change us in positive ways as well. And I am not a glass-half-full kind of person. Still, I think that when we look around the foodbank and recognize each other, they dynamic changes. Pride becomes about what we might have to offer, rather than what we might have to request. We're in bad shape. Scary bad. Our toes were skimming bottom. They still are. But then I found out a teacher at my son's school was the sole earner in her family. Her husband was out of work, they have three kids, twins in my son's class, and I *know* how much she makes and how much of herself she gives to her job. Damn. Her boys needed clothes. As in more-than-one-pair-of-sweatpants clothes. And my boys are either bigger or smaller than her boys. So yeah, clothes? I had clothes. She needed clothes for work. Oh yeah, I had them too. (hoard much?) . Her boys needed winter clothes. My boys have too much yankee in them to need much in the way of winter clothes, so we had coats and sweaters that were barely ever worn. I figure if or when we need them, we'll work it out.. And, as I say, I tend to hang onto things to pass them down, but that's next year, the year after. Her kids needed stuff today. So it worked out well, and there was no pride issue. She knew we were not much better off, but that we did happen to have the stuff *she* needed, so there was a sort of balance about it. And Christmas looked so freaking bad for us. Three boys, all believing in Santa, and we're trying to keep the lights on. Got a text one night from a neighbor who wanted to know if we were still up. He and his partner had been shopping and wanted to drop some stuff off for the boys. He said that they didn't have kids to buy for, so why not buy for our kids? Again, no one was embarrassed, it was just people doing for people. And it was enough to lift my soul enough to get through. I don't know…"pride" is overrated and pretty useless. Dignity is accepting what is, what is offered, and what can be given. These are times when we have to pay closer attention to those around us. I just don't think that is ever a negative thing. We've been taught to act a certain way, but life is not like that anymore. And remember, it is all about getting through. Not winning, not coming out on top, just getting through. It isn't fun, but life is not a waterpark. Keep doing, Rob. Just keep doing. Regards, Leslie
What an amazing experience that must have been. That\’s so awesome. Thank you for sharing that with everyone. 🙂
Never feel bad or odd about going to the food bank. I've had to get help there when my hubby was unemployed. To give back for their generosity when we were in need my boys work there a few times a year.
Very well said. Thank you 🙂
Rob-
Didn't you recently write about getting a new replacement 60 inch flat panel tv as a replacement for an older broken one?
You could probably list it on eBay, buy a cheaper, smaller one, and net a few bucks in the process.
If times are that tight, those extra $$$ would be a god send. I'd bet not too many other folks at the food pantry have one of those hanging on their wall.
Yeah, that never happened. They just replaced it but it\’s basically the same thing. We were actually barely able to by a cheap TV with what the replacement plan covered.
I\’ve actually done that before though. You do what you have to do. Unfortunately, I\’ve already sold everything I have worth selling.
I could even imagine what it would cost to sell a $500 TV on ebay and then actually ship it. Craigslist is way to dangerous.