I’m very quickly losing my appetite for Gavin’s meltdowns. Truthfully,  I’ve never had a taste for them but I was able to tolerate them.  Anymore however,  they are becoming more and more difficult to deal with.

We just finished up another meltdown a few minutes ago.  I didn’t sleep well so I’m a bit on the grouchy side this morning.

I told Gavin that if this behavior continues,  we are going to have no choice but to send him somewhere. I told him, in a not so patient voice, that I have to ensure that his little brothers have a safe and nurturing environment to grow up in and his behavior is making that almost impossible.

He was only upset because he was in trouble,  he doesn’t care that he is terrifying his little brothers and making Lizze’s head hurt worse.

I honestly don’t think that Gavin has a conscience. I say that because having a conscience is a developmental stage or milestone that Gavin simply never reached. At least that’s my understanding of what happened. This is what his doctors have long suspected.

Something like that is very challenging to live with for a multitude of reasons.  Most of the challenge revolves around teaching right and wrong as well as helping him to understand how his actions impact others around him.

The idea of having to send him to some type of inpatient care is becoming easier to swallow.  Gavin’s meltdown has set off meltdowns in both Elliott and Emmett.  They are completely overwhelmed and overstimulated. 

Life is not going to be easy today.

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.