If we all stay on lockdown, we can’t get sick. This is vital for Gavin especially.
Speaking of Gavin. At this point, he is refusing to go and insists on waiting until this is all over before leaving the house, even if it means he can’t see his mom and extended family for a long time. He doesn’t want his brothers to go either.
It’s not that he doesn’t want to see them. He absolutely wants to go but fear is driving him right now.
Lizze and I have been talking about how to handle this and neither one of us want to force him. He’s got legit concerns about his health but his decision is based on not grasping how everything works.
If Lizze even remotely thought that anyone in her house was sick, had broken quarantine, she would never allow the kids to be exposed, even if it meant she couldn’t see them. It’s just that simple.
While on one hand, I know Lizze is where she is because she chose that path, and an unforeseen consequence is that she’s not with her kids during this time, she’s also sacrificing as well. She could have pushed to see the kids and created an unpleasant situation but she didn’t. It wouldn’t have changed anything but it would have been uneasant and harder to say the least. Instead, she put them first and I’m grateful for that. We’ve been a team throughout the pandemic in this regard. I know this hasn’t been easy for her and I know it’s not been easy for the kids.
I am very nervous about sending them because I only have control over what happens in my house, but we’re going about this the right way and Lizze will ensure they stay safe.
If things get as bad as the public health officials are fearing, I don’t know if or when we will be able to do this again. It’s important that we take advantage of the opportunity.
For this to work, everyone in her house had to agree to be locked down for 14 days prior to the kids coming over. That meant no trips to the store or leaving the house at all. Absolutely no exposure to anyone outside of the people living in their house. That’s not always easy but they’re committed.
As the weather gets nicer and the state continues to open, that will be harder to commit to. Unfortunately, that’s the only way this will be possible until we have a vaccine.
The plan is for the kids to go over for 2 nights next week. I’m working to help Gavin better understand the situation. He spoke with his grandma yesterday and she went over all the precautions they’ve taken but Gavin’s just not having it right now.
Selfishly, if he doesn’t go, it’s not going to be a break for me. I desperately need a break, especially from some of his behaviors. I explained that even if he stays home, his brothers will still go. He won’t be protecting himself by not going.
We’ll see what happens. I’m not giving up just yet.
It makes perfect sense. And I know this is not malicious behavior toward LIzzie. It’s hard to maintain sense of safety and non worry when you sons are out of your care, even for a moment and even if they are with the mother, unless you are there to make sure there are no unexpected areas of potential
exposure that your wife and her family members may not be totally aware of. I would give it deep thought and consideration also if I was in your place. People have to realize that this virus is extremely bizarre in so many ways. People can appear to be healthy as can be and still be infected but show no signs at all. Even the testing is possibly not always dependable or available. It would be great for them to spend time with their mother but you do what you feel is best. I feel we all understand your feelings.
You all are in a hard place. It’s also going to get even harder, I think. The states are opening back up. Now, I read what employees have to do in Ohio to be safe, and it’s good. But since customers or clients don’t HAVE TO wear masks, there will still be unnecessary spread. And the fact is, cases are still growing in the US. I think even people who believe that sheltering in place is good, are still getting tired of being stuck mostly inside. This thing isn’t over at all, and I find myself wondering how many more Americans will die while Trump is patting himself on the back?