For the last couple of days, Elliott and Emmett have been digging holes in the yard. They discovered that about twelve inches down, they can find clay. They’ve decided to harvest and process the clay in order to make it usable. I’ve no clue if this is going to work out and I’m not a fan of huge holes in my yard but I can fix that. They’ve researched this process and are working together on something constructive. I’m looking at this as a win. ☺

Gavin continues to talk incessantly and that’s proving to be very challenging for me. I’m trying to be as patient as possible but after 52 days of burning the candle at both ends, I’m coming up short. I end up giving him all I have left and that puts me further into the hole.

Not having a break from any of this is not easy. Not having a partner to physically share the load is not easy. Knowing that for the foreseeable future, none of this is going to change, is demoralizing. Even if they reopen Ohio, we will still have to lockdown until we have a working vaccine. Gavin cannot afford to get sick. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.

I’m overwhelmed. I’m exhausted and I’ll be completely honest with you. I’m lonely. My life is devoid of adult contact and I was still adjusting to life without my wife before all of this. I was trying to get out and be around family as often as I could because it was a great distraction. I haven’t even been in the same room as another adult in 52 days. You’d be surprised how difficult that can be.

Anyway, my brain is shutting down and I need to seize the opportunity to sleep while I can.

If this feels a little scattered, it’s likely because I’ve been working on this throughout the day. I kept getting interrupted or pulled away and it took me until 1am to finally publish this.