Despite what Elliott says, he’s struggling emotionally. He doesn’t like to talk about it and he’s trying to emotionally detach from as many people as he can. It’s sort of a self-preservation thing for him. Having said that, he seems to be doing well in school but I’m keeping a close eye on him. Everyone is getting whatever help they need.

Both boys need routine and structure to feel safe. That’s recent events have disrupted that routine and structure. I’m working very hard to build a new framework that helps them to better navigate life and cope better with some of what they need to cope with. I know that everything I have isn’t enough but it’s got to be until I can rebuild myself as well.

As for Gavin, he’s doing pretty good. He has been doing his IVIG Infusions on his own for the last couple of weeks. I’m always there to help him but it had become easier for him to rely on me to do it and that’s a problem. It’s important that he be as self-sufficient as possible. He needs to be able to perform these infusions on his own. They are very easy to do but his confidence sometimes gets shaken. It takes some time to build him back up but it’s worth the effort.

Oh, and Gavin is still working on his book. I believe he’s written 9 chapters so far. I’m so proud of him and he’s an amazing story teller.

I’m so proud of all my kids. They are absolutely amazing human beings and I try everyday to be worthy of them.

We’ve been through a lot but we’re going to make it through. It’s not easy but I’m trying to be the best leader for them I can be and while I’m far from perfect, all I can do is give them my best.

At the time of writing, it’s about 9:30 PM and everyone but Gavin is asleep. That means I have a shot at a decent night’s sleep.

On a completely random side note, I’m hoping to be able to order the kids new mattresses by next Friday. All three of the kids need new ones but Gavin is insisting that he doesn’t want one yet. I don’t know how he’s comfortable but he’s comfortable. I’ll take care of Elliott and Emmett for now and wait for Gavin to be ready.

I only bring this up because I’m really, really hoping that a new mattress will help. Emmett feel more comfortable in his own bed, giving me a bit of solitude.

Time will tell..