Not a great deal was accomplished at our brainstorming session last night. The who point was to try and come up with some ideas that will help Emmett get back to school.
I don’t think the gravity of the situation is hitting everyone because they don’t have to deal with any of it. I’m the only one facing these challenges with my kids. I’m the one that has to see them struggling and/or be up all night with them because they’re having nightmares. It’s frustrating for me because everyone else is on the outside looking in, while I’m drowning, trying to keep everyone afloat. I’m desperately in need of a solution that works.
I’m not angry with anyone. I’m overwhelmed and at the end of my rope. That said, everyone involved at the meeting kicked around some thoughtful ideas. Personally, I feel like we really need to address the root of the problem because the symptoms are too overwhelming for Emmett and we can’t do much about them. If we can attack the root cause, which seems to be, at least according to him, his mom leaving for a second time, maybe we can provide him with some relief.
Rob, while you state you’re frustrated etc, you say you’re not angry. Why not? Feeling angry, or furious, or pissed, or any variation of, would be normal. Healthy even, to FEEL that way. (I know when I’m exhausted and doing what feels impossible, I get pissed pretty quick if I don’t think people who could help, aren’t. Of course you aren’t me.) The actual feeling of anger isn’t any worse than any other emotion, and the best way to deal is to accept all of one’s feelings. Just a thought I had reading the post. (And of course, hoping and wishing for the best for all of you.)
Hey Becky. I should probably clarify my statement a bit. I was attempting to state that I’m not angry because I’m now a single parent. I’m not angry that my marriage is over. I say that because I feel like I’ve let that anger go because it wasn’t doing me any good. That said, I do get angry when it comes to my kids. I do get angry when things are said or done that cause my kids pain or makes the situation worse. To be blunt, I’m not angry that my wife let me. I’m hurt but not angry anymore. When things are said or done, regardless of intentions, that hurt my kids, I get angry.
I guess the whole point was that if I’m angry with her for what she did to me, that could influence, at least on some level, my ability to work with her going forward. I don’t want that to be the case. I also don’t want my kids to ever feel like they have to pick a side. If I’m angry about something that’s happening to them, it’s because I’m a parent and don’t like anyone causing my kids pain. I feel that if I held onto the anger I felt when everything went down, it would ultimately bleed over to the kids.
Does that make sense?
Also, it takes a lot to make me angry. I’m much quicker to anger when your messing with my kids or my family. If it’s only impacting me, I tend to let it roll off.
I appreciate the thoughtful comment Becky. ☺
Yes, it does make sense! I know I would experience rage and anger, but then would try to let it go also. Maybe I’m just easier to get pissed off. I know my moods are influenced by side effects of meds, and exhaustion and pain. Since all of these things happen to me 24/7/365, I do have occasional angry moments. I’m glad you can let the bad feelings that hinder you go. I know if someone wrongs me, I try to forgive. If someone wrongs family or friends, then I’m more likely to spring into action in their favor. So I get what you mean.