It’s like a fucking roller-coaster because my kids are really sick, then they seem to feel a little better and then go back to being sick again. I guess it’s kinda the nature of respiratory stuff but the ups and downs are rough because it’s difficult to know what to do.
As of writing, both Elliott and Emmett will be home again, despite serious protest from Elliott. I’m not sure what’s up with that but I think it has to do with avoiding going to the doctors. If he’s back at school, he doesn’t need to go to the doctor. That’s his logic but it doesn’t work that way because this isn’t a democracy. I’m responsible for their wellbeing and if I feel they need to be seen, they will be seen, whether they want to or not.
Depending on how they do tonight and how they’re feeling in the morning, I may just go ahead and get them in.
If the doctor feels they can head back to school, I’ll feel much better about doing it.
I know it may sound like I’m freaking out over this and I’m really not. I’m just overwhelmed, exhausted, spread too thin and trying to do right by my kids. I’m still getting acclimated to doing that on my own and I could obviously be doing a better job but it is what it is.
Anyway, that’s were we stand. I’m hoping to get some sleep tonight.
UPDATE: It’s currently 1AM and Elliott is still awake. He’s been coughing so hard that his side hurts and he can’t get comfortable. I don’t know how to help him. He’s not even close to falling asleep and I don’t like falling asleep before my kids. It’s going to be a long night.
Under your personal circumstances, you’re doing your best and I personally applaud you for all the love and support you continue to give your three sons apart from dealing with such overwhelming obstacles. Those three young men couldn’t have a better father than you. I’ve dealt with autism via my oldest autistic son for 36 years now. I also worked in a group home and worked with autistic young adults. These are definitely shoes a person has to walk in to totally understand how much superhuman sacrifice, love and caring it takes to deal with the daily obstacles that autism presents to both the person with autism and the caregiver. It’s no walk in the park by any means but it’s a job you have to do, no matter what building falls on you or what new problem suddenly pops up, simply because you love that person with autism and you want to make their life’s journey as pleasant for them as you possible can. Unfortunately, for parents, we often feel guilt within ourselves where there should be none. We have been given a situation that requires abilities far beyond what a normal family structure should have but still somewhere inside of us, even when we are down on the ground, we find the hidden strength to rise and continue on for the betterment of those people we love who happen to have this thing called autism.
Also, so happy for you and the boys of your good fortune to possibly be going to Sea World. I hope you are somehow able to travel there. I’m sure they will love it! And to you Rob, I can only have continued respect and admiration for what you are doing, not just for your family but for other families who deal with the many tough problems that come with autism and still continue on.
I really appreciate your kind words Curtis, I really do. ☺
Poor Elliott.
Thanks for being there not only for your kids, but also for us, confused and lost parents. You are already doing a great job keeping up with the well being of kids and updating your blog at the same time. The only thing you could be doing better at is stopping this unnecessary guilt.