Being an Autism parent is incredibly challenging. If you've been following our journey, you have probably picked up on that message by now. I try to be open, honest, and transparent about that because spin won't do anyone any good.
I'm struggling a great deal lately. That makes an already challenging and complex situation even more so. Factor in depression, as well as the loss of several family members, and I feel like I'm drowning at times.
My *Daddy Do List *keeps growing by the day. I have bills that need managing, a house in desperate need of repairs, a car that simply needs to be replaced because it's beyond repair, mounting yard work, and about million other things. I have a backlog of work-related things that need to be completed as well, and I'm struggling to focus on writing. It's incredibly frustrating.
I'm very easily overwhelmed right now, and that's not a good thing because Autism parenting is immensely overwhelming on its own. Lately, I'm waking up in the morning, after a terrible nights sleep, and I'm already struggling out of the gate.
Everything that happens throughout the day further erodes away my dwindling sanity.
The daily life of an Autism parent is one of constant vigilance. It's chronic sleep deprivation, as well as both physical and emotional exhaustion. Every single day it's a wash, rinse, and repeat kinda thing.
It's often being pulled in a million different directions while trying to put out the constant fires that pop up throughout the day. I still have to make sure everyone gets what they need, all while trying not to lose a sense of myself along the way. It's not easy, and when I begin the day at a detriment, it doesn't bode well for anyone.
Despite my personal struggle, I have managed to accomplish a few things today, and I'm proud of that.
I finally bit the bullet and bought a new weed eater. It was a good chunk of change, and the timing was awful, but ours has been dead for years, and I desperately needed to get the yard caught up. Emmett and I went to Home Depot and found a decent one. He helped to decide which one made the most sense for the money.
Emmett gets incredibly stressed out when money is spent because he wants to move and anything we spend takes away from that goal, at least in his eyes.
I explained that we needed to get this today and if he wanted to go, he would have to understand that I would be spending money. To his credit, he did fantastically and even helped out with research. I'm very proud of him. ❤
He and I put it together, charged the battery, and got most of the yard caught up.
Emmett cut the backyard, and I cut the front. When he was done, he even took a bath without a problem.
This is a big weight off because I've been dreading the yard work for a while. Having the right tools to get the job done makes it much easier to maintain.
I think I mentioned in a previous post that I also went walking bright and early as well. I even wrote a little bit today. It wasn't nearly enough, and I can't make money if I don't write, but baby steps.
Those are significant accomplishments for me, and I'm proud of myself for having accomplished them. I realize that the bar is set pretty low, but that's just life right now.
The struggle is real, and I'm doing my best to keep my head above water, so I can keep everyone else above water also. It's not easy, but I'm not giving up.
