I’m not able to focus on work and without doing that, I can’t replace our car, which is now leaking gasoline or get my family to a safer neighborhood, where the kids can actually play outside.
I can’t focus at all anymore.
I end up fixated on my health, which is constantly improving and not bad at all. I know that but I worry anyway. I worry about not being here for my kids or my wife and it’s consuming.
I’ve made an appointment with my doctor for this morning and I’m going to be placed back on an antidepressant. I’m personally leaning towards Prozac for a number of reasons but I won’t start it until after I recover from surgery. That should only push things back a few days at most and by next week, I will be starting the new medication.
I’m not excited about this but at the same time, I’m hopefully looking at another 50 years and I can’t live like this. I can’t put my family through this either.
While I’m not excited, it does feel good to have a direction and maybe a light at he end of the tunnel. With any luck, that light won’t turn out to be a train…
If I’m feeling up to it, I’ll update you folks tomorrow but no promises. There’s a lot I have to get done before Friday, including making a fresh pot of bone broth so I have something healthy to eat while I recover. I also have to get about 5,000 steps in so I hit my minimum goal of 200,000 steps for the month before Friday. That’s the goal for the whole month and I’ll reach it about 10 days early because I’m afraid after Friday, I might not be in a place to get my walking done each day. I feel good having accomplished that..
So that’s where I stand at the moment. It’s not pretty but it’s my truth and I need to do what I need to do in order to get through this and get back on my feet. My needs more than I’m able to give them right now and that’s not okay. Taking care of myself means I can take better care of them.
Rob! Please don’t give into it! I don’t know what it’s like to be in your shoes, but as a fellow autism parent & blogger I can relate. Some days I feel like I can take on the world & then next thing you know I’m cleaning up an epic disaster at home & boom-I’m down again. My only advice to you is to continue to seek help. Family therapists are fab, but for depression you need to see a shrink. (I do & I’m not ashamed to admit it:)) Also, be aware that some (maybe all) pain meds that you may receive for your surgery will bring you down. Or UP then back down. Mood Swing Style. Not at all suggesting that you skip the meds…if they prescribe them then you need them…just know they can affect your depression!:) Best of Luck! I’m pulling for you.
Thanks Heather.. Great to hear from you. I do see a psychologist but my PCP manages my meds. We have a serious shortage of psychiatrists in our area. I’m in good hands when I need help. Your advice is well received and much appreciated.. ☺ Hope all is well on your end…
But i don’t understand why i’m depressed.
I can relate, recently. I had a bad flu, my headache and joint pains lasted for solid 3 days, despi… https://t.co/N7aHYjc4j2
Enjoy your breath…steal moments, a few mins at least, to meditate (traditionally, or just go outs… https://t.co/VpSSyHJQpA
Hang in there Rob. Sometimes the best we can do is put one foot in front of the other. Know you a… https://t.co/SOkD3omIkc
Been there many times. Most don’t understand how hard it is. Just take it one day at a time. Tom… https://t.co/yww4H3pSml
Hello Rob. This makes uncomfortable reading and my thoughts are genuinely with you. I’m sure you’re… https://t.co/BTCn64vzRO
Don’t give up. Don’t. Your child will suffer forever if you do. Each day is new and can bring amazi… https://t.co/hodhGJHR3P
You need to see your doctor definitely and a therapist. Things really aren’t as bad as it may feel. I totally get worrying about being there for your child. I too worry. You have many people there for you, lean on them. I really hope things get better for you!
❤️ I’m here for ya man. I have been fighting a daily battle with severe depression for almost 14 years
Take Siberian Ginseng & fell happy, add on some Vitamin B12 complex too & see the result, mingle wi… https://t.co/ls3nmIJnRD
Hang in there, Rob…. Sending love.
I’ll be praying for you. You sound like such a giving loving person and father. The winter has been… https://t.co/NlWOY8gIXc
I am sorry you are going through a hard time. Glad you sought help. That’s so important. When… https://t.co/NzER4MQRaW
Please when it gets the darkest, turn to your love be and that will remind you, and all of use, why… https://t.co/rcZffR6XzK
Thinking of you and praying for you.
Prayers that you are able to figure out what needs done for you.
Please ask for help-from family, neighbors, co-workers.There’s a lot on your shoulders & maybe some… https://t.co/dES4w4tLNy
Hey Rob. I hear you about everything being too much. Your plate of worries is overflowing and with… https://t.co/ubd3yUDRhO
Thank you for your honesty about your struggles. You are not alone, and by sharing, you help others… https://t.co/hMzFFmW0AC
Your words resonate with me so much. I’m going through similar struggles with depression…trying t… https://t.co/ALUl3fkUPB
You got it. If this helps I am on board.
Please get some tangible support to help you with your daily struggles. You can do this ❤️
You are not alone. There are times our fears own us. Please do not let the depression win — not for… https://t.co/JhE8YcktSn
You are not alone. Depression lies. Revisit your Twitter feed to help remind you of the good things… https://t.co/HUIc1wzlXd
I am sorry for how you are feeling….I have severe depression and anxiety and ADD and “possibly a bipolar trait.” I’m 46 and 4 months ago, I think we have finally gotten my meds down so that I don’t find myself at times feeling like i’m about to fall off a ledge. What helped me was finally finding a GOOD psychiatrist. he also has a son with Autism (I have 3 sons, two with autism, all three with anxiety) so he can identify with me with regards to how challenging and emotionally draining it can be. Additionally, I have been in recovery for alcoholism for 7 years. Sobriety has helped my depression and anxiety.
For me, all things mentioned are what help me stay stable emotionally and psychologically.
I hope you can find some long term relief from the downs……I know it sucks. hang in there!
I can relate to a LOT of whar you just said. Remember that you are not alone.
You are absolutely right. Taking care of yourself helps you take better care of them.
It’s ok to take a break. I’ve found when there’s something major, sometimes you just have to ride the wave so to speak and be ok with not doing more than survival. Sometimes it seems like survival mode never ends. I don’t know if this will help you. In my experience, focusing on my breathing can help me calm. And if that’s all you do today to get to your big day tomorrow, that’s ok.
I also remind myself God is bigger than my stressful life. I will pray for strength for you to make it through today.
Trust me. You don’t know me, I get it and I REALLY CARE!!! If I was rich, I’d pay for a live in N… https://t.co/rr3x7g84iU
@Merry_Mary47 Rob? What’s going on, honey? You have such a Big Burden to bear, w/3 Autistic childre… https://t.co/JvftMSkgaG
Stay strong bro. I understand what you are going through. Maybe not everything but trust me, I ha… https://t.co/Vo7FlfLALx
You can always message me, Rob. I too struggle with depression and all the things that come with it… https://t.co/5tlbtyxbZV
2. Daily assistance for the boys via their insurance or grants?
3. Any thoughts of starting a go fu… https://t.co/jgeesVzX4R
#1 of 2
I don’t face your daily challenges but I understand depression. Have had it for about 60 ye… https://t.co/RaPaRCNFUc
I’ve been there. Life is hard enough. Being a parent of special needs kids is a lot on so many leve… https://t.co/FeIFx78Pim
Rob start a power walking program ASAP, same time everyday, & if you can, get a personal trainer at… https://t.co/6SgytlgZ40
I love all you guys. Please don’t be offended that I posted this. Please reach out if you need to.… https://t.co/iGvwbIC188
I’m glad that u r getting help. Here r things that help me. I wish u well. https://t.co/0RIqUj1kDg
@MicheleNtmitch After one of my relationships ended in an extremely poor ways I lost hope and all s… https://t.co/68IFkrMaiM
@MicheleNtmitch There is a way out of this. It’s impossible to objectively see when your brain chem… https://t.co/zqSnI0KclQ
I was in a battle like this for months last year and all my GP Doctor kept telling me was ”grow up… https://t.co/DXCOwFgo8x
Reach out to someone you trust. Sharing extreme feelings, good or bad, helps you to ease the burden… https://t.co/pHGQrkY6wC
I’ve been taking Vitamin B complex vitamins. It gives you energy and helps the nervous system. Also… https://t.co/LwbXkD0PUg
I had a bad experience with a dentist in high school. Nerve damage left me unable to smile when I g… https://t.co/YBggrT9As7
Read this book. It’s short and will lift you. It’s not religious. You’ve got to get out of your hea… https://t.co/PP3jbKtiuC
I read your last post about the surgery. Why not postpone it for a little while. Try to get yoursel… https://t.co/d3x9VJ0Ooe
If you ever need to vent to another parent who’s raised a child on the autism spectrum, feel free.… https://t.co/gYaMAWygY2
Do you need someone to talk to? DM me!
Retweeting is not getting help. Do you have a therapist you can contact?
Please hold on.