I was able to exhale a bit and went forward, feeling like I checked something off the list. Actually, I felt pretty fucking good because it wasn’t a freebie. I was able to not only make the minimum payment required for the program, I also paid an extra amount as well and that felt good.

It was already colder in the house and we’d only been gone about an hour or so. It’s a shitty feeling to walk into this.

All I wanted to do was sit in the corner somewhere and cry because I’m just not on solid ground and this felt like a kick to the nuts. I felt like a failure and was immediately worried about Gavin, as well as the boys.

I called Dominion and explained what had happened, they verified it in the notes and realized it was the previous representatives mistake. She had been correct about the program but gave me the wrong instructions.

The reason we got shut off is because in order to trigger the program, I needed to pay one, single payment in the exact amount of $175.00. I paid $250 and therefor the payment didn’t trigger the program. I should have been told to make two separate payments.

While they didn’t apologize, they are fixing the problem but can’t tell me when it will be fixed. All she could tell me is that it should be sometime before 11:59 PM tonight.

This isn’t like flipping a switch. It’s a fucking process that takes a little bit of time because they have to test the lines, bleed all the appliances and witness them operating correctly before they leave. It’s frustrating to have this on our plate now.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful they’ve acknowledged the mistake and are in the process of fixing it but it didn’t need to happen in the first place. It’s just one more thing that creates distress. Yes, I know that at a base level, it’s my fault because I’m behind. I’m all too aware of that glaringly obvious fact. I don’t need reminded of that because I beat myself up enough on my own.

The good thing is that this particular nightmare is temporary. The $250 still goes toward the balance and I owe less than $400 now. That’s actually very positive because we used to be much further behind and I’ve worked very heard over the last year to get caught up.

While it may seem bad, it had been much worse and if I was a stronger person at the exact moment, I’d take pride in that progress, rather than focusing solely on my failures.