Normal is very relative in the sense that normal for me may be different than normal for you. I look at normal as being sort of an individuals equilibrium. For me to feel normal, I need to laugh, have fun and spend time with loved ones.
I think we often confuse the words of normal and typical.
Every single person on this planet, Autism/Special Needs or not, has a normal. It’s unique to each person and it has nothing to do with a perceived disability or lack thereof.
Anyway, I’m desperately needing a sense of normalcy in my life right now. I’m really hoping that Lizze feels up to going out because we know that we won’t have another break until sometime in 2019.
Both sets of grandparents (the only people who give us breaks) are dealing with things right now that they really need to focus on. It’s absolutely understandable and me bringing that up isn’t meant to be a judgment in anyway. Lizze and I completely understand.
At the same time, it makes it even more important that we take advantage of the time we have have right now because we won’t have another chance for a long time..
Please remember that it’s okay to want or need to feel normal. It makes you human and I think it’s all part of selfcare.
At the same time, be aware of how you use the word normal because if used incorrectly, it can be very hurtful. Telling someone, especially in anger, that you wish they were normal, is kinda fucked up. Don’t do that.
Saying that you need normalcy in your life or you need to feel normal, is perfectly okay. ☺
I have 2 things to say. (1) You’re right, we all need normal although what is normal varies from person to person, as you pointed out. Your description means “being able to forget the horrible stress for awhile, especially in the company of my wife.” My description might be: “watching an old favorite TV show that makes me remember the happy times as a kid,” or “doing a pleasant activity that reminds me of being young and happy, and having it make me happy still.” As in watching classic Hawaii-5O and playing musical instruments. OR getting out to have breakfast with Bob. So it sounds like activities that reduce stress and make us happy are normal.
(2) I have serious, severe TMJD (jaw pain, jaw disorder) and gave up a musical career because of it. If you are clenching your teeth you really should see your dentist and get a TMJD plate. It helps and even if it doesn’t always stop you from clenching your teeth, will keep the jaw angle open. Still, one of its main helps is to remind you that you clench your teeth. Now, it’s a pain to talk with one in. You can learn to do so, possibly with a slight lisp. Or you can wear it whenever you know you won’t be talking. But if you are actively clenching you really should consult a dentist.
Hope you all got out!