We never got Gavin’s lab results and I’m struggling with that tonight. His numbers have gone from dangerously low to sort of okay and back to dangerous in a matter of days. There’s a chance it was lab error but which one was in error? Was it the sorta better results or the dangerously low results?

This is the question I’ve been asking myself since last week. The only way to have a better idea of which is accurate is to add more data to the equation. If these results come back and his numbers are low, we know that it’s likely correct. If they come back sorta okay, we know that will likely be correct.

The more data points we can add, the better picture we have of what’s going on.

I’m going to follow up in the morning and see if I can get the results before the weekend. There is absolutely no part of me that wants to go into a four day weekend without knowing the results.

It’s so hard to explain exactly what this feels like. I don’t want to overreact but we aren’t talking about something simple or benign. We’re talking about things that pose significant life threats.

I’m completely exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed out and terrified. The last thing I want to do is wait any longer for these results than I have to. If they’re bad, I want to know so we can begin dealing with it. If they’re on this side of bad or looking better than last time, I’ll finally be able to exhale and relax.

This level of stress is not good for me or any other human being for that matter. I hope I wake up to an email delivering good news.