Between last night and this morning, my stress level reached a point where I ended up sick. After I took the boys to school this morning, I started not feeling well. I thought that maybe I was just hungry or something but after eating breakfast (the same yogurt medley I have almost every morning) I felt worse.
As life has become more challenging and stressful, I’ve started dealing with acid reflux. It doesn’t always happen often but it tends to show up when I’m really upset or stressed out.
It’s fair to say that I have a lot on my plate and there are times when it just becomes too much.
Between the worries about now needing a new car, dealing with the mortgage company, not sleeping last night, worrying about Christmas, getting Gavin to Cleveland and spending the morning dealing with screaming, it was just too much.
We rescheduled Dr. Reynolds because there hasn’t been any changes for Gavin in regards to his medications. The idea was that I could get some sleep, take some Tums and wake up feeling better, so I could drive to the Cleveland Clinic.
Unfortunately, the nap didn’t help and I was feeling nauseated.
Anyway, Lizze rescheduled Cleveland and while I’m not happy about that, there wasn’t really anything I could do. I was not feeling up to driving and so there wasn’t much choice.
Everything is rescheduled and we can move forward. I wish that I could have knocked this stuff out today but sometimes things don’t go as planned. There are times when pushing myself is the right thing to do, but this was not one of those times.
I need some time to decompress and center myself a bit. Dealing with stress isn’t something that’s ever going to go away, and like anyone else, I could benefit from adding additional coping skills to my tool box for dealing with stress…
Anyway, how many of you have ever dealt with something similar?
I’m sorry but I agree with kimmy+gebhardt. You seem to be going backwards with no real solution in sight. I still don’t get why one of you doesn’t work. Surely that would take some pressure off. Even remote work, which is far more readily available these days. Car’s repossessed, house foreclosure, cars breaking down, gas and water switched off etc etc surely that stress would be felt by the boys as well. I can’t imagine how you can all cope.
As for appointments I’m surprised that you can cancel such long, complex appointments at such a late date so easily. I thought this appointment for Gavin was vital??
Just the other day you mentioned that the waiting list for the dermatologist was unreal and today you canceled two appointments on the morning of because you were stressed out and needed some Tums and a nap. Were you not on Medicaid you would be charged for these missed appointments and it’s also disrespectful to the doctors and office staff and other patients. As important as these appointments are to you, they are just as important to other patients and you took spots today that could have been useful to others. I have mentioned this before and I will again now, you need therapy from someone besides Dr. Pattie. I get that you feel like the other doctors are only listening to you because they are being paid, but if this is your life, you need to get help with it because you are on the verge of failing and the amount of stress that you are mentioning right now isn’t going to go away in the near future.
Thanks for the support
They are simply opportunities for improvement. You need to take the criticism for what is it and stop taking it all in as some personal attack.
You rarely can see the forest for the trees, so sometimes an outside perspective can be good for you. Instead you are too quick to dismiss everyone else as ‘not getting it.’
The hurricane was a perfect example. You didn’t get it and yet refused to listen to anyone else trying to help. One of the greatest qualities a person can have is knowing what they don’t know.
Dutch, the hurricane isn’t a perfect example of anything. I was working with the people in Florida and the agency up here. Everyone shared the same concerns and we didn’t know how bad this gs would be until it was almost time to leave. As it was, there was quite a hit of Hurricane damage in the village. Quite a few things were shut down and unavailable.
I have reasons for why I was worried and driving 20 hours with three Autistic kids, only to find out that things weren’t going to work out, was a big part of it. Again, you’re welcome to offer advice but I don’t have to take it. Just because it makes sense to you, doesn’t mean it will apply the same way to us. Sometimes the advice is really good and it helps but I’m not here looking for advice.
I know you were being sarcastic when you thanked me for the support, but support comes in many forms. You seem to only want people to pat you on the back and tell you how great of a job you’re doing, but someone needs to give you a kick in the ass now and then. Your depression is eating you alive and you refuse to get help. You repeatedly refuse to take responsibility for your actions and you blame EVERYTHING on autism and the people around you. You can’t even see how selfish it was for you to cancel the appointments at the last minute and that this was not a one time thing- it happens all the time. Until you can see your patterns you’re never going to change them. Until you accept some responsibility nothing in your life will change for the better. Stop living in ‘survival mode’ and sit down and make a plan. Talk to someone and get a budget figured out. The longer you continue to fly by the seat of your pants the worse it’s going to get. You have been at this for far too long to still not know how to effectively take care of yourself and your family. I am well aware of how harshly this comes across and it’s partially on purpose; someone in this world needs to stop coddling you and give it to you straight. No time like the present.
Kim, you’re welcome to your opinion but you’re armchair quarterbacking. Frankly, you’re way off base. I take more than my share of responsibility for my actions and I’ve never blamed everything in Autism. This is an Autism related blog and the whole point is to share how Autism impacts everyday life. As you aren’t living with Autism, you can’t possibly know what is or isn’t attributed to Autism.
I recognize that you’re coming from a good place but you need to understand that this is counter productive because all it does is piss me off. It’s not helpful and frankly, I haven’t asked for help.
All this demonstrates is that you don’t get it. That’s okay because I wouldn’t expect you to but continuing to pretend that you know better than I do, about my own life and family is getting a bit repetitive.
I don’t remember anyone ever coddling me. Simply because some people choose to show compassion and understanding, doesn’t mean I’m being coddled. It means that they recognize that they can’t possibly understand what life is like for me but they understand that we struggle.
Some people are living with similar challenges and can empathize and relate. A perfect example is a few posts back. People that live it, get it. Those that don’t tend to critique.. Again, I appreciate where you’re coming and I truly mean that, but things like this are helpful.
I know you were being sarcastic when you thanked me for the support, but support comes in many forms. You seem to only want people to pat you on the back and tell you how great of a job you’re doing, but someone needs to give you a kick in the ass now and then. Your depression is eating you alive and you refuse to get help. You repeatedly refuse to take responsibility for your actions and you blame EVERYTHING on autism and the people around you. You can’t even see how selfish it was for you to cancel the appointments at the last minute and that this was not a one time thing- it happens all the time. Until you can see your patterns you’re never going to change them. Until you accept some responsibility nothing in your life will change for the better. Stop living in ‘survival mode’ and sit down and make a plan. Talk to someone and get a budget figured out. The longer you continue to fly by the seat of your pants the worse it’s going to get. You have been at this for far too long to still not know how to effectively take care of yourself and your family. I am well aware of how harshly this comes across and it’s partially on purpose; someone in this world needs to stop coddling you and give it to you straight. No time like the present.
Kim, you’re welcome to your opinion but you’re armchair quarterbacking. Frankly, you’re way off base. I take more than my share of responsibility for my actions and I’ve never blamed everything in Autism. This is an Autism related blog and the whole point is to share how Autism impacts everyday life. As you aren’t living with Autism, you can’t possibly know what is or isn’t attributed to Autism.
I recognize that you’re coming from a good place but you need to understand that this is counter productive because all it does is piss me off. It’s not helpful and frankly, I haven’t asked for help.
All this demonstrates is that you don’t get it. That’s okay because I wouldn’t expect you to but continuing to pretend that you know better than I do, about my own life and family is getting a bit repetitive.
I don’t remember anyone ever coddling me. Simply because some people choose to show compassion and understanding, doesn’t mean I’m being coddled. It means that they recognize that they can’t possibly understand what life is like for me but they understand that we struggle.
Some people are living with similar challenges and can empathize and relate. A perfect example is a few posts back. People that live it, get it. Those that don’t tend to critique.. Again, I appreciate where you’re coming and I truly mean that, but things like this are helpful.
They are simply opportunities for improvement. You need to take the criticism for what is it and stop taking it all in as some personal attack.
You rarely can see the forest for the trees, so sometimes an outside perspective can be good for you. Instead you are too quick to dismiss everyone else as ‘not getting it.’
The hurricane was a perfect example. You didn’t get it and yet refused to listen to anyone else trying to help. One of the greatest qualities a person can have is knowing what they don’t know.
Dutch, the hurricane isn’t a perfect example of anything. I was working with the people in Florida and the agency up here. Everyone shared the same concerns and we didn’t know how bad this gs would be until it was almost time to leave. As it was, there was quite a hit of Hurricane damage in the village. Quite a few things were shut down and unavailable.
I have reasons for why I was worried and driving 20 hours with three Autistic kids, only to find out that things weren’t going to work out, was a big part of it. Again, you’re welcome to offer advice but I don’t have to take it. Just because it makes sense to you, doesn’t mean it will apply the same way to us. Sometimes the advice is really good and it helps but I’m not here looking for advice.
Just the other day you mentioned that the waiting list for the dermatologist was unreal and today you canceled two appointments on the morning of because you were stressed out and needed some Tums and a nap. Were you not on Medicaid you would be charged for these missed appointments and it’s also disrespectful to the doctors and office staff and other patients. As important as these appointments are to you, they are just as important to other patients and you took spots today that could have been useful to others. I have mentioned this before and I will again now, you need therapy from someone besides Dr. Pattie. I get that you feel like the other doctors are only listening to you because they are being paid, but if this is your life, you need to get help with it because you are on the verge of failing and the amount of stress that you are mentioning right now isn’t going to go away in the near future.
Thanks for the support
I think you kind of nailed one of Kim’s points. that you didn’t ask for help. Even people who may not live your life can offer up some great advice that could help. The budget help, the counseling from someone other than Patti. Sometimes I think you don’t take advice because you are trying to do things out of your control, and that leads to you getting sick. But really, it is OK to take advice from people when you didn’t ask for it
Pony, thanks for your opinion. I totally agree that people can offer up good advice and your comment is a perfect example of something that helps. It doesn’t come across as judgmental and you aren’t telling me all the things you think I’m doing wrong.
Budget help is probably not going to happen online but I’m always happy to hear ideas from others, especially other parents. That said, being a parent isn’t a requirement for good advice. There are many times that Kim will leave advice that really makes me think. Yet there are others that don’t come across well at all.
I would never presume to know your life better than you. If you say something doesn’t work or you don’t do something for a particular reason, who am I to question you. My approach is to never tell someone what to do, especially when it comes to kids on the Autism Spectrum. I’ll share what’s worked for us but it may not work for anyone else.
Again, thank you for your thoughts. I really appreciate it and you’re right, it’s okay to take advice from people, even if I didn’t ask for it. ☺
I’m sorry but I agree with kimmy+gebhardt. You seem to be going backwards with no real solution in sight. I still don’t get why one of you doesn’t work. Surely that would take some pressure off. Even remote work, which is far more readily available these days. Car’s repossessed, house foreclosure, cars breaking down, gas and water switched off etc etc surely that stress would be felt by the boys as well. I can’t imagine how you can all cope.
As for appointments I’m surprised that you can cancel such long, complex appointments at such a late date so easily. I thought this appointment for Gavin was vital??
One thing at a time.. likely you could focus on the other things first and put off the neuropsych testing for a little while.. Its alot of information at once, but you are in expert hands with this doctor and he is getting to the bottom of it. You will find answers for Gavin. Just be patient.
Just the other day you mentioned that the waiting list for the dermatologist was unreal and today you canceled two appointments on the morning of because you were stressed out and needed some Tums and a nap. Were you not on Medicaid you would be charged for these missed appointments and it’s also disrespectful to the doctors and office staff and other patients. As important as these appointments are to you, they are just as important to other patients and you took spots today that could have been useful to others. I have mentioned this before and I will again now, you need therapy from someone besides Dr. Pattie. I get that you feel like the other doctors are only listening to you because they are being paid, but if this is your life, you need to get help with it because you are on the verge of failing and the amount of stress that you are mentioning right now isn’t going to go away in the near future.
Thanks for the support
I know you were being sarcastic when you thanked me for the support, but support comes in many forms. You seem to only want people to pat you on the back and tell you how great of a job you’re doing, but someone needs to give you a kick in the ass now and then. Your depression is eating you alive and you refuse to get help. You repeatedly refuse to take responsibility for your actions and you blame EVERYTHING on autism and the people around you. You can’t even see how selfish it was for you to cancel the appointments at the last minute and that this was not a one time thing- it happens all the time. Until you can see your patterns you’re never going to change them. Until you accept some responsibility nothing in your life will change for the better. Stop living in ‘survival mode’ and sit down and make a plan. Talk to someone and get a budget figured out. The longer you continue to fly by the seat of your pants the worse it’s going to get. You have been at this for far too long to still not know how to effectively take care of yourself and your family. I am well aware of how harshly this comes across and it’s partially on purpose; someone in this world needs to stop coddling you and give it to you straight. No time like the present.
Kim, you’re welcome to your opinion but you’re armchair quarterbacking. Frankly, you’re way off base. I take more than my share of responsibility for my actions and I’ve never blamed everything in Autism. This is an Autism related blog and the whole point is to share how Autism impacts everyday life. As you aren’t living with Autism, you can’t possibly know what is or isn’t attributed to Autism.
I recognize that you’re coming from a good place but you need to understand that this is counter productive because all it does is piss me off. It’s not helpful and frankly, I haven’t asked for help.
All this demonstrates is that you don’t get it. That’s okay because I wouldn’t expect you to but continuing to pretend that you know better than I do, about my own life and family is getting a bit repetitive.
I don’t remember anyone ever coddling me. Simply because some people choose to show compassion and understanding, doesn’t mean I’m being coddled. It means that they recognize that they can’t possibly understand what life is like for me but they understand that we struggle.
Some people are living with similar challenges and can empathize and relate. A perfect example is a few posts back. People that live it, get it. Those that don’t tend to critique.. Again, I appreciate where you’re coming and I truly mean that, but things like this are helpful.
They are simply opportunities for improvement. You need to take the criticism for what is it and stop taking it all in as some personal attack.
You rarely can see the forest for the trees, so sometimes an outside perspective can be good for you. Instead you are too quick to dismiss everyone else as ‘not getting it.’
The hurricane was a perfect example. You didn’t get it and yet refused to listen to anyone else trying to help. One of the greatest qualities a person can have is knowing what they don’t know.
Dutch, the hurricane isn’t a perfect example of anything. I was working with the people in Florida and the agency up here. Everyone shared the same concerns and we didn’t know how bad this gs would be until it was almost time to leave. As it was, there was quite a hit of Hurricane damage in the village. Quite a few things were shut down and unavailable.
I have reasons for why I was worried and driving 20 hours with three Autistic kids, only to find out that things weren’t going to work out, was a big part of it. Again, you’re welcome to offer advice but I don’t have to take it. Just because it makes sense to you, doesn’t mean it will apply the same way to us. Sometimes the advice is really good and it helps but I’m not here looking for advice.
I’m sorry but I agree with kimmy+gebhardt. You seem to be going backwards with no real solution in sight. I still don’t get why one of you doesn’t work. Surely that would take some pressure off. Even remote work, which is far more readily available these days. Car’s repossessed, house foreclosure, cars breaking down, gas and water switched off etc etc surely that stress would be felt by the boys as well. I can’t imagine how you can all cope.
As for appointments I’m surprised that you can cancel such long, complex appointments at such a late date so easily. I thought this appointment for Gavin was vital??
I think you kind of nailed one of Kim’s points. that you didn’t ask for help. Even people who may not live your life can offer up some great advice that could help. The budget help, the counseling from someone other than Patti. Sometimes I think you don’t take advice because you are trying to do things out of your control, and that leads to you getting sick. But really, it is OK to take advice from people when you didn’t ask for it
Pony, thanks for your opinion. I totally agree that people can offer up good advice and your comment is a perfect example of something that helps. It doesn’t come across as judgmental and you aren’t telling me all the things you think I’m doing wrong.
Budget help is probably not going to happen online but I’m always happy to hear ideas from others, especially other parents. That said, being a parent isn’t a requirement for good advice. There are many times that Kim will leave advice that really makes me think. Yet there are others that don’t come across well at all.
I would never presume to know your life better than you. If you say something doesn’t work or you don’t do something for a particular reason, who am I to question you. My approach is to never tell someone what to do, especially when it comes to kids on the Autism Spectrum. I’ll share what’s worked for us but it may not work for anyone else.
Again, thank you for your thoughts. I really appreciate it and you’re right, it’s okay to take advice from people, even if I didn’t ask for it. ☺
One thing at a time.. likely you could focus on the other things first and put off the neuropsych testing for a little while.. Its alot of information at once, but you are in expert hands with this doctor and he is getting to the bottom of it. You will find answers for Gavin. Just be patient.
One thing at a time.. likely you could focus on the other things first and put off the neuropsych testing for a little while.. Its alot of information at once, but you are in expert hands with this doctor and he is getting to the bottom of it. You will find answers for Gavin. Just be patient.
I think you kind of nailed one of Kim’s points. that you didn’t ask for help. Even people who may not live your life can offer up some great advice that could help. The budget help, the counseling from someone other than Patti. Sometimes I think you don’t take advice because you are trying to do things out of your control, and that leads to you getting sick. But really, it is OK to take advice from people when you didn’t ask for it
Pony, thanks for your opinion. I totally agree that people can offer up good advice and your comment is a perfect example of something that helps. It doesn’t come across as judgmental and you aren’t telling me all the things you think I’m doing wrong.
Budget help is probably not going to happen online but I’m always happy to hear ideas from others, especially other parents. That said, being a parent isn’t a requirement for good advice. There are many times that Kim will leave advice that really makes me think. Yet there are others that don’t come across well at all.
I would never presume to know your life better than you. If you say something doesn’t work or you don’t do something for a particular reason, who am I to question you. My approach is to never tell someone what to do, especially when it comes to kids on the Autism Spectrum. I’ll share what’s worked for us but it may not work for anyone else.
Again, thank you for your thoughts. I really appreciate it and you’re right, it’s okay to take advice from people, even if I didn’t ask for it. ☺