He’s so proud of these battles, and he really believes he’s doing these things. We can ask him questions but not directly challenge his beliefs. We’ve been warned that his delusions are so deeply rooted, meaning he believes them so strongly, that it could be dangerous to try and get him to understand this stuff isn’t real.
I came home from Dr. Pattie’s in a horrible mood, which has carried through the evening and following me to bed early.
I wish there was something we could do to quiet the voices and make vanish the hallucinations. Unfortunately, nothing works and the Clozapine he’s currently on is preventing things from getting worse.
A warm and fuzzy thought is, if things are still this bad on medication, what happens when the meds stop working altogether? Clozapine is the Lost tightly controlled medication in the country, banned pretty much everywhere else in the world, and an absolute last ditch effort, to manage Schizophrenic symptoms.
There really isn’t any up from here.
As a father, my heart has been broken so many times, I don’t know ow how many more times it can be pieced back together.
I’m going to sleep tonight, with the aide of Zzzquil. Hopefully, a good night’s sleep won’t evade me tonight, and I’ll cope better with life in the morning.
My apologies if you (or anyone else) felt jabbed by that last question. There was no derision or judgment intended. I am genuinely curious what Dr. Patti does for them, and on a larger scale, what this sort of years-long therapy does for any family in Rob’s situation. I hadn’t really thought about the relationship going stale, but you make an extremely valid point. After spending that much time with someone, the relationship changes. A fresh mind will have fresh insight and maybe some fresh ideas. Also, you are dead on when you say hearing the same information from a different voice can have a greater impact.
I get where you’re coming from Kim. No worries, but thank you.
It doesn’t work that way for everyone. When you are dealing with the extreme level of complexity that is my family, starting over with someone else isn’t always a good idea.
If therapy isn’t working, finding a new therapist is the right move. However, it is working and the fact that I’m not rocking back and forth in corner is proof of that…
I’m not going to speak for Rob, but that last question – whether it’s “normal” for families to be in therapy for 10+ years — is a loaded question. I get that you’re curious as to what this therapist does for Rob and his family – and all of your other questions speak to that, but the implication with your last question is either that it’s not “normal” to be in therapy that long or that the therapist is doing nothing for the family because she hasn’t “cured” them in that period of time. It just seems to be that answers to your other questions would eliminate the need for the implicit jab that comes along with that last question.
Sorry if I read too much into that last question, but I guess it just rubbed me the wrong way. But I do think there is something potentially valid there. It’s not a bad idea to question a therapist’s approach, particularly after that length of time, to make sure they are helping to achieve the patient’s goals. Sometimes the relationship gets so familiar that it can get stale after that long of a time. Or sometimes, after that long – hearing the same information but from a different or new voice (therapist), can have a greater impact.
Sorry for cutting in. The answers to the other questions would be a good topic for a post.
I sorta felt the same way at first. However, I know she’s asking a question, and I wasn’t offended.
Here’s the thing. When a family goes through a really hard time, Family therapy can be a huge help. You get the help you need and move on.
In situations like mine, there’s ongoing trauma (for lack of a better word) and therefore therapy is ongoing. It gives everyone a place to decompress. Sometimes, when she’s working with the boys, Lizze and I can just take a breath.
Could we do this without therapy? I’m sure we could but it wouldn’t be nearly as graceful as things are now. Frankly, things aren’t that graceful at all, but it would be much worse.
Trying to figure out the best way to put this. Is your counselor more of a generalist, or is she more of an expert in schizophrenia? And maybe it doesn’t even matter, as she knows you all and of course, would need to be qualified in that area.
I guess where I’m going is this question…would another psychiatrist/psychologist/counselor have a different or additional approach for Gavin?
No. She’s the best fit for ongoing therapy. Gavin has a separate psychiatrist.
In case it’s not clear, my comment above is in response to Kimmy’s comment.
What exactly does Patti do for you? Is it family therapy or one on one therapy for the boys? Marriage counseling for you and Lizze? All of the above? Is it normal for families to be in therapy for 10+ years? I don’t mean the questions as judgments, just honest curiosities about how she helps your family.
It’s family therapy. As our challenges are family challenges.
Seeing someone you love struggling like that is devastating. It’s a testament to your love for your son, your family, and your commitment to their health, that you and your therapist have created a space where he can share those thoughts and you can listen to them while feeling supported. If no one has thanked you for being a remarkable human being and great dad, I will. Thank you.
::hugs::
My apologies if you (or anyone else) felt jabbed by that last question. There was no derision or judgment intended. I am genuinely curious what Dr. Patti does for them, and on a larger scale, what this sort of years-long therapy does for any family in Rob’s situation. I hadn’t really thought about the relationship going stale, but you make an extremely valid point. After spending that much time with someone, the relationship changes. A fresh mind will have fresh insight and maybe some fresh ideas. Also, you are dead on when you say hearing the same information from a different voice can have a greater impact.
I get where you’re coming from Kim. No worries, but thank you.
It doesn’t work that way for everyone. When you are dealing with the extreme level of complexity that is my family, starting over with someone else isn’t always a good idea.
If therapy isn’t working, finding a new therapist is the right move. However, it is working and the fact that I’m not rocking back and forth in corner is proof of that…
In case it’s not clear, my comment above is in response to Kimmy’s comment.
I’m not going to speak for Rob, but that last question – whether it’s “normal” for families to be in therapy for 10+ years — is a loaded question. I get that you’re curious as to what this therapist does for Rob and his family – and all of your other questions speak to that, but the implication with your last question is either that it’s not “normal” to be in therapy that long or that the therapist is doing nothing for the family because she hasn’t “cured” them in that period of time. It just seems to be that answers to your other questions would eliminate the need for the implicit jab that comes along with that last question.
Sorry if I read too much into that last question, but I guess it just rubbed me the wrong way. But I do think there is something potentially valid there. It’s not a bad idea to question a therapist’s approach, particularly after that length of time, to make sure they are helping to achieve the patient’s goals. Sometimes the relationship gets so familiar that it can get stale after that long of a time. Or sometimes, after that long – hearing the same information but from a different or new voice (therapist), can have a greater impact.
Sorry for cutting in. The answers to the other questions would be a good topic for a post.
I sorta felt the same way at first. However, I know she’s asking a question, and I wasn’t offended.
Here’s the thing. When a family goes through a really hard time, Family therapy can be a huge help. You get the help you need and move on.
In situations like mine, there’s ongoing trauma (for lack of a better word) and therefore therapy is ongoing. It gives everyone a place to decompress. Sometimes, when she’s working with the boys, Lizze and I can just take a breath.
Could we do this without therapy? I’m sure we could but it wouldn’t be nearly as graceful as things are now. Frankly, things aren’t that graceful at all, but it would be much worse.
Trying to figure out the best way to put this. Is your counselor more of a generalist, or is she more of an expert in schizophrenia? And maybe it doesn’t even matter, as she knows you all and of course, would need to be qualified in that area.
I guess where I’m going is this question…would another psychiatrist/psychologist/counselor have a different or additional approach for Gavin?
No. She’s the best fit for ongoing therapy. Gavin has a separate psychiatrist.
Seeing someone you love struggling like that is devastating. It’s a testament to your love for your son, your family, and your commitment to their health, that you and your therapist have created a space where he can share those thoughts and you can listen to them while feeling supported. If no one has thanked you for being a remarkable human being and great dad, I will. Thank you.
What exactly does Patti do for you? Is it family therapy or one on one therapy for the boys? Marriage counseling for you and Lizze? All of the above? Is it normal for families to be in therapy for 10+ years? I don’t mean the questions as judgments, just honest curiosities about how she helps your family.
It’s family therapy. As our challenges are family challenges.
::hugs::