I'm not having a good day. I was approached by the interventionist today, while picking the boys up from school. Actually, I was only picking up Elliott cause Emmett was home sick.
I've always made it a point to be as honest with this blog as possible. Sometimes the honesty is rather brutal.
As I'm writing this, I'm literally shaking because I'm so upset by what I learned today. While I'm not going to go into much detail because I'm jot done with this yet, I do want to talk about what happened.
When I left the meeting with the school last Friday, it was decided that she would meet with Elliott alone, this other kid alone and then sit them both down together and try and work through whatever is going on. It was actually my idea to do that.
<img src="https://lxnxuovarpoeyuzaxuet.supabase.co/storage/v1/object/public/blog-images/inline/2017/01/wp-image-1542216986png.jpg" alt="" class="inline-block max-w-full h-auto rounded-xl my-4" loading="lazy" /> The reason I'm so angry right now is that through this process, Elliott was convinced that not only did he misunderstand what happened, but that he was the instigator. He even apologized to this kid.
WTF....... If what Elliott says happened last Thursday did actually happen the way he originally said it did, the school just convinced the victim of bullying to apologize to his bully. Jesus Christ... How fucked up is that?
I also learned that they aren't keeping them separated anymore like I was promised at the beginning of December.
Part of the reason I'm shaking so much is because I'm trying to handle this the right way. I'm trying to follow procedure and not go into the school, half cocked and raising Hell. Handling this wrong could just make things worse.
I also realize that Elliott's not perfect and if he has ownership in this, that needs to be addressed as well. That said, it doesn't appear that Elliott's anything more than a target. I've had another parent or a student in Elliott's class reach out to me and explain that after reading about the bullying that was going on, they asked their child if anyone in their class was being treated unfairly. Without any knowledge of what was going on, they said that Elliott is not being treated nicely. I know something is going on.
Choosing to take a restrained approach is not easy but I feel it's the right thing to do at this point. It's the right example to set and it teaches my kids to learn the facts before jumping to conclusions or making assumptions. At the same time, I'm making sure that Elliott knows we have his back completely and I've made that clear to the school as well.
I know it's easy to read this and assume that the school is in the wrong. That's not what I'm necessarily trying to say. The problem is much bigger than just one school, it's how we address bullying in general.
Look, I love this school. I do overlook certain things that I don't agree with because the overall experience for my kids has been amazing. Having said that, I do not believe this is being handle well and I will not stop pushing until we get to the bottom of this.
There are indirect ways in which this could be dealt with.
1) Maybe they could set aside a day and have a speaker come in to educate the kids about bullying, what it is and why it's unacceptable. The kids could learn to be empowered by learning ways of dealing with bullies. They could also talk about what they could or should do if they see someone being bullied. That would help to address the problem without having to single anyone out.
2) I certainly believe the teachers could use an in-service on bullying. How to recognize bullying and what to do when it's discovered.
3) Maybe even have the next family event be centered around bullying and talking to your kids about bullying.
I would be thrilled with that kind of resolution because I guarantee Elliott’s not the only one in the school dealing with something like this.
The bottom line is, I'm really frustrated and I feel like this isn't being taken seriously. There's enough evidence to at least pull the kid aside and talk to him about this. Not doing so simply emboldens someone who already seems to get away with everything as it is. What kind of message does that send to Elliott? What kind of message does it send to the kid who's been bullying him?
