I’m laying in bed at 2:30am, unable to sleep and it’s really frustrating.  

All I want to do during the day is just curl up in a ball on the floor and sleep but I can’t. When I do get a chance to sleep, I lay here and can’t shutdown.  

It should be said that for Autism parents, it can be extremely difficult to shutdown, even though they desperately want to sleep. 

That’s something that I struggle with rather frequently myself.  

There’s so much adrenaline being pumped through my body during the day because of this constant state of hyper-vigilance, it just takes its toll. For many of us as well, we sleep with one eye open and an ear to the ground because we can never truly stop worrying about our kids or needing to be aware of what they may be up to, when they wake up in the middle of the night. 

I’m praying that I don’t see the hour of 3am because that seems to be a threshold for me.  If I’m not sleeping by 3am-ish, I won’t sleep at all.  

I’m hoping that writing this helps me to shutdown or at least slow my brain down enough to almost feel like I could actually fall sleep….