I meant to publish this update the other day but I’ve been a bit distracted.

Lizze and I met with Dr. Pattie on Tuesday night to discuss what we should do in regards to Gavin’s current psychotic break.  The reality is that there is very little that we can do, aside from possibly adjusting his meds.

The decision basically revolves around whether or not to increase his Clozapine dose.

While this may not seem like a tough decision, it really is for a number of reasons.

Clozapine is not a medication to be messed with, if it can be avoided.  That being said, it’s also the only medication that has a history of actually working on Gavin.  It either quiets the voices or makes them silent all together.

Gavin is very clearly in the midst of a psychotic break and adjusting his dosage of Clozapine, could help to pull him back into reality.  On the other hand, there could be absolutely no gain by increasing it.  In fact, there’s serious risk of serious side effects and he would need weekly blood work for at least 6 months.

When I refer to Gavin being psychotic, there are many assumptions made about what that means and most of them are way off the mark.

Psychotic simply means that he has lost touch with reality.

This isn’t always obvious to people he’s around because he does a pretty good job of hiding that part of him.  There are no outward symptoms to indicate he’s psychotic and it’s only when he begins talking about his missions, it becomes clear that somethings not right.

Gavin is very well therapized, meaning that he knows what to say and not to say.

He likes going on missions and truly enjoys the world he lives in as a result of schizophrenic related hallucinations. He’s very happy to talk about them if asked but will otherwise keep them to himself because he knows that these things shouldn’t be happening and it worries us.

Does that make any sense?

The bottom line is that in Gavin’s version of reality, he’s a superhero and is in command of a group of superheros that defend the Universe from the evil of Eggman and Zurg. This goes way, way, way beyond the realm of active imagination and enters the world of psychosis.

The good news is that nothing has been outwardly dangerous and while Gavin indeed has delusions of grandeur, it’s not like he thinks he can jump off the roof of the house and fly.

It doesn’t seem that this particular psychotic break puts Gavin or anyone around him at any risk of actual physical harm.. This is important because there have been previous psychotic breaks in which that wasn’t the case.

So if we swing back around to the meeting with Dr. Pattie, we discussed all of these things and more.  We weighed the pros and cons before reaching a decision on how to handle things, for the time being anyway.

All three of us agree that at this point, bumping the dose of his Clozapine, in order to address this current situation, just isn’t worth the risk.

At this point in time, Gavin’s happy and isn’t considered a threat to anyone but Eggman and Zurg.  All joking aside, he seems to be compensating really well and with that being the case, we’re just going to at least try and let this run it course.

We always have the ability to bump the dose if things change but for now, we believe this is in Gavin’s best interest.

Decisions like this are never easy because there really isn’t anyone who can or will make the decision for us. We receive guidance and advice but the decision is ours and ours alone.  That sucks in a great many ways because sometimes, I just wish someone could just tell us what the right thing to do is.

Anyway, Lizze and I feel comfortable with this decision because it’s just sorta maintaining the status quo. That’s something we can do and it doesn’t put Gavin at any additional risk for something that may not even work.

So there you have it.  We will of course keep a close eye on him and ensure both his safety and the safety of those around him.  If anything changes, we will revisit this decision but until such a time, I feel we are doing the right thing.