I think I fell asleep pretty quick last night. I went to bed in a good mood and drama free, so I don't know what brought this on.
As hard as I've been trying to remember all the details of what happened, I can't.
What I do remember is more like the plot, as well as the emotions I felt.
Basically, it resolved around Gavin and myself. We somehow ended up on foot in some really bad part of God only knows where, because I can't remember.
I wanna say that it was just a strange or unfamiliar part of town. My town to be more precise because I had a feeling of familiarity but also being lost and absolutely terrified.
Gavin kept running away and I couldn't find him for a really long time.
No one was helping me find him because it was like they couldn't see me. Periodically, I would find Gavin now he was a homeless person, living in a box, alongside a dark alley.
He wouldn't listen and wouldn't come with me, so I could try to bring him home.
Weirdly enough, I had my phone and tablet on me but I couldn't call someone for help because every time I tried to dial the number, my fingers wouldn't work.
This went on and on for what seemed like days, with little or no progress.
I remember people attempting to shot at him but he still would come with me.
That's all I remember. I guess I remembered more than I originally thought. Having said that, I have no idea how it ended or if it ended because the next thing I remember was Emmett running I to our room and me waking up in cold sweat.
Assigning meaning to this dream or rather, nightmare, hasn't really happened because it was really confusing.
That said, I feel like it's maybe my way of processing how we've sorta lost Gavin once again to mental illness.
I keep desperately trying to reach him and pull him through but it's never a fruitful effort and he never really comes home. I also felt like this was almost a premonition of what his future holds for him and that scares the shit out of me.
Regardless, it's set the tone for me day and I'm not in a good place right now..
I would love any and all input you may have on this dream and what you think it may mean.... I really appreciate it.
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