OY VAE!

That was a good one. I needed that to start my morning. I know everyone will be glad that i got my kid the pneumonia vaccine the other day. I know it is not on the list but it is a big step for me. he had to get it to get his IVIG. He gets a flu shot every year as it was not a choice after his bone marrow transplant 9 years ago and the pnumecoccal (the one that you get when you go to college) i got that because he visited his bother so much at college and i couldn’t get the college kids sick). We are still cancer free thank God. he is 21 and is very very smart and still really sick with an autoimmune diease. I am trying to let him be in control of his medical stuff (especially since legally he could anyway). I felt really proud of my self the other day because I asked him did he want me to go back with him or did he want me to stay in the lobby. He said it didn’t matter (not in a mean way but for real cause he is grown up but knows I am the fragile one lol). Great. I went back. the ivig didn’t happen cause he had to have a pneumonia shot. it didn’t even ask about thimerisol (which I do ask about with the flu shot and make sure we get the one without it). keep in mind when i had my kids 26 and 21 years ago i blindly got my kids their vaccines like i should. you had to have them on a blue form for daycare and then school and i didn’t know anything about autism or vaccines. Then 12 years later which would have been like 2005 or so i was scared to death of the vaccines. everybody thought i was crazy to be scared with my son. my thing was that he had a brand new immune system like a baby even though he was 12. i was scared about everything by that time cause so many of the other transplanted kids died. I mean everyday. Yes i have ptsd about that too. also i have a nephew that had autism. his mother married into the family and we all knew he had autism (like we knew anything) but she and my brother in law were still in denial at that time. my nephew with autism is the person that got me on this blog cause i will be his guardian if something happened to his mama who i love dearly) i finally got her (in a nice way) to the doctor for a diagnosis. her other 3 children are not autistic. well i got into the whole autism thing cause even though she is a great mother it hurt her to keep reading all the autism stuff. so i would read i tell her what she needed to know. Thank God that was back in the early ninety’s and she got him vaccinated and all her other kids vaccinated. i really believe that it was a good thing that everybody got vaccinated. two things that scared me into not doing the vaccines for my kid after transplant was that he was sick all the time and they didn’t know what was wrong with him and that the government decided to take the big bad thimisol out of the vaccines. the government doesn’t just make a decision like that when every body is having a fit because they think that thimisol is causing autism. why did the government take it out? I don’t know. I was and still think that they thought or had info that thimisol was a problem of some sort and it scared be. what scared me more was when i bit the bullet and took him for his first appointment at the pediatrician after transplant. they didn’t know i was traumatized by the whole situation. you know how you have to sign that you read the material before you get the vaccine? i remember this like yesterday that the nurse didn’t bring me a sheet, she didn’t know if thimirsol was in the vaccine, was not patient when i voiced my concern, she found the insert and practically thru it at me. by this time i am either crying or have tears in my eyes and couldn’t see the small print and she wouldn’t help me read to find if thimirsol was in the vaccine. the dr came in to explain to me that i was crazy to think about a 13 year old getting autism and i was trying to explain about the new immune system and i remember he seemed so angry. the worst of it was that their were two sets of vaccines. one was for people that had blue cross ins and one for kids that had medicaid. i was horrified because the medicaid kids got the one with thimisol. you automatically get medicaid when you have a transplant but i also had blue cross and medicaid was secondary. she said we had to get the medicaid vaccine cause medicaid was primary. i know i am crying at this point. We left without a vaccine because i didn’t trust that she would give us the non thimirisol vaccine. I am like has none of these medical people read anything etc. it was 2005 then. then my second excuse not to vaccinate was that he was always sick every single day and the doctors didn’t know what was wrong with my kid. i did know from when the kids were little they said you can’t have a vaccine if you are sick. I couldn’t get anyone to have an intelligent conversation with me about it. the other day when my son was getting his pneumonia vaccine he said he really needed to get on track with his other vaccines. i said we would do what he wanted and we would talk about it later (i didn’t want to be upset at the drs lol) i did tell him why i was scared and he was trying to tell me that the autism was not immune system related it was brain chemical related and that vaccines didn’t cause autism. i want to hear what he has to say but it took a week for him to get over the pneumonia shot and i haven’t had a chance. i do know finally in order to get the vaccine without the tiny amount of thimisol is to get the single dose. the reason that thimisol was in the medicaid vaccine was for a preservative and it was i guess a big bottle kind that you get a bunch of doses out of. i get that it would need preservative. i know it is expensive but just make them all single use vaccines and at least one scared crazy mother would be ok. thank you for listening. i don’t care about the spelling. glad y’all got off to school ok