Today has been particularly rough for me. Gavin’s had a mixed day and that always takes a lot out of me. However, more than that it’s the fact that I truly don’t feel worthy of Father’s Day.
I look at the life I’m providing for my family and I know that it’s less than they deserve.
Trying to celebrate Father’s Day while in the middle of a Child Protective Services investigation just doesn’t sit well. This past week alone, the car has broken down, we lost a utility that’s, you know, pretty important and we haven’t heard back from CPS like we were supposed to.
That makes me really nervous.
We have nothing to hide but still………..
Then of course the trolls come out to play and decide that they need to spew their bile and hate, all over me today.
I’ve taken to calling them this because it’s really clear that their only purpose is to start or cause drama. There is nothing productive about their contributions to the conversation. I welcome a difference of opinion but what these people are doing is just hateful.
It’s really hard to absorb all of this and not be affected by it.
Maybe I’m to hard on myself? I know that I can be.
Having said that, I just can’t help feeling down today. Lizze and the boys have been great and I couldn’t ask for a better family. At the same time, I wonder if they deserve a better husband and father…………
I don’t know, I just feel really weighed down right now and everything is just getting to me today. If you’ve ever been investigated by CPS, you know what kind of feelings that brings will it. First thing in the morning, I’m going to call our investigator and touch base.
Perhaps that will give me a some indication of what we’re still looking at.
Tomorrow will be a better day……
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rob big hugs to you all from over the pond stay strong and love to you all.
ohwell561 agenthner Steph204 DadWithABlog Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the support and kind words. Today has been a better day.
keep your chin up, raising any family is a challenge. When the effort is there, your family knows it, whether success or failure, they care and appreciate the work you do, the time you put in and the sacrifices you make. Happy Father’s Day, and know that while the trolls might be more vocal, there are more positive people cheering you along silently!
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Raising one child with autism, severe brain damage and severe epilepsy and a second child who was a hellion made life a total circus!!! People just wouldn’t believe our daily life. Thought we were embellishing what was, for us, just normal life, until they saw us in action, and that was on a good day. LOL From what I’ve been reading you all are doing quite well, my friend. Quite well indeed. We’re in Canada and have drug plans that covered all the expensive medications, eyeglasses, and therapy she needed. (She passed away late 2007 in a seizure, nearly 16yrs old) My heart aches so very deeply for you and Lizzie having to juggle all those bills. Wow! I don’t know how you even come as close as you do to keeping it all together and running. In Canada our OHIP (healthcare) covers all hospital costs, or we’d have been sunk. Seanna’s dad can fix everything in the house that ever needed fixing…roof, doors, furnace, cars, everything and anything, so there’s a lot of bills covered too. As far as your patience is concerned, honey we all get frustrated, but with our girl we knew she couldn’t be different. She’d switch the light on and off for hours asking us, “Light on? Light on?” and then switch it off and ask, “Light off? Light off?” and if we didn’t answer she’d get increasingly frustrated. That was until I finally duct taped the light into the on or off position and ended the obsession (after a couple weeks of 24/7 meltdowns over it, that is) and she moved on to new obsessions. But that is the nature autism/brain damage. It’s OCD on amphetamines, essentially. Love and patience and acceptance that there is no intent on her part behind it. But you know that. You’re doing great. I applaud you guys. Happy Father’s Day. Enjoy how far you’ve come. You’re doing very well.
You may not be aware of this, hell, CPS may not be, but I work in the homeless services field and starting this year cities are MANDATED to put some of the Federal funding from HUD into homeless prevention… that is, to help families just like you make it. This includes utility assistance. You can contact your local department of social services and ask (the funding stream is called ESG, or, Emergency Solutions Grant) and is designed to help keep individuals and families from becoming homeless when it can be prevented by short to median term assistance such as utility payments.
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It’s not much, but maybe this will help!
agenthner thank you very much for the information. I’m trying to remain positive.
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way today. Just putting together your thoughts and this blog is far beyond what others do. We, too, as a family, had our time with CPS. It’s a humbling experience indeed but we powered through knowing in our hearts of hearts that we were providing the best care that we knew how for our special needs son. I still have my struggles knowing what’s the best course of action for my son. So many shut doors and not enough information is out there. We were not handed a manual. Please know that you have my heart today and I will keep you in my best thoughts. Power through and Happy Father’s Day. I wish you the very best.
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way today. Just putting together your thoughts and this blog is far beyond what others do. We, too, as a family, had our time with CPS. It’s a humbling experience indeed but we powered through knowing in our hearts of hearts that we were providing the best care that we knew how for our special needs son. I still have my struggles knowing what’s the best course of action for my son. So many shut doors and not enough information is out there. We were not handed a manual. Please know that you have my heart today and I will keep you in my best thoughts. Power through and Happy Father’s Day. I wish you the very best.
Thanks man. I appreciate it. It will be over soon and I’ll be able to put this behind us
Thanks man. I appreciate it. It will be over soon and I’ll be able to put this behind us
Sorry you are going through this. I had to deal BS like that in a custody battle with my ex wife and I know it sucks. I’m praying for you and your family. Stay strong.
Sorry you are going through this. I had to deal BS like that in a custody battle with my ex wife and I know it sucks. I’m praying for you and your family. Stay strong.
I’ve had my dealings with DCF, I think the same thing as CPS, just a different state. In the end, they ending up helping me with daycare, health care services and getting us help that we needed but didn’t know how to find. I know it is stressful, but I believe it will turn into a blessing for you.