As you likely know from previous posts like this, I'm battling depression. During this hard fought battle, I really feel as though I came out on top most of the time. However, the depression seems to have the upper hand right now.
Lizze and I have an appointment with my doctor next week to discuss the need for a new medication.
I'm pretty sure I'm maxed out on Paxil, so my options would be to supplement or change meds all together.
The truth is, I'm really beginning to crumble under the pressure. Even Dr. Patti has noticed during our sessions with the boys that I'm not doing as well as I once was.
Lizze has expressed concern that the Paxil just isn't cutting it anymore. I've aways valued her opinion when it comes to things like this because I'm too close and I can't always see how I'm compensating.
Some of the things that I and others close to me have noticed is that I have begun of obsessing over things again. I'm also really tired all the time and I'm lacking in motivation as well. I've also very aware that my writing has changed as well. I have a hard time stringing coherent thoughts together anymore.
Some of these things are probably to be expected, especially considering how much stress and pressure I'm under, at any given point.
Getting to the doctor and discussing this is very, very important. I need to explore my options and find out if there is another medication that will work out better.
My family needs me now more than ever and I can't afford to have my hands tied behind my back by depression. I also suspect that Paxil is part of the reason for the weight gain as well.
The bottom line is that depression has managed to get the upper hand on me and I can't allow that to continue.
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