I thought it might be interesting to do one of those What would you do things, like you see on TV. Basically, I’ll give you a situation and you share how you would handle it.
I think it’s interesting that many people handle the same thing in many multitude of ways. There are no right or wrong answers here.
You’re walking through the grocery store and witness a parent physically hitting and yelling at their child.. You don’t know the whole story but are uncomfortable with what is happening. What would you do in this situation?
Please answer in the comments below. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers.
this has actually happened once. What I did was to move closer to the parent and simply make eye contact, in a non-judgemental way. I hope my facial expression said, how can I help? In this case, I didn’t actually say anything, because just the eye contact, the human contact, was enough to cause the parent to realize that they were making a mistake that they didn’t intend to make, and she self-corrected. If she hadn’t I might have asked if I could help….
I would call the store manager quickly, and go with him or her back to the scene. It’s better to have numbers with you when interceding, than do it alone, especially when the parent is angry. I saw an incident at Trader Joe’s (my hang out) where a kid was very rambunctious, destructively crashing into shelves and stacked items with his miniature shopping cart. The mother grabbed his arm and spun him around. I winced a bit, but he was out of control, so I didn’t do anything. Later, however, the kid was crying and just outright obnoxious — one of the clerks distracted him by telling him to hunt for a whale in the store and he’d get a prize. It calmed the kid down. I was relieved. Read more: What would you do? » Lost and Tired http://lostandtired.com/2012/12/15/what-would-you-do-2/#ixzz2FTrxL4J7 Under Creative Commons License: Attribution Non-Commercial No Derivatives Follow us: @Lost_and_Tired on Twitter | 141426269203202 on Facebook
I would call the store manager quickly, and go with him back to the scene. It’s better to have numbers with you than do it alone, especially when the parent is angry. I saw an incident at Trader Joe’s (my hang out) where a kid was very rambunctious, destructively crashing into shelves and stacked items. The mother grabbed and shook him. He was out of control, so I didn’t do anything. Later, however, the kid was crying and just outright obnoxious — one of the clerks distracted him by telling him to hunt for a whale in the store and he’d get a prize. It calmed the kid down. I was relieved.
I would likely call the store manager.
If it’s a smack on the hand for negative reinforcement of a socially unacceptable behaviour or a scolding to make a point about safety (We do NOT hide from Mommy in the middle of clothing racks!) Then I let it go. I once told one of my siblings (NONE of whom should EVER have had children in the first place) that if he threatened his daughter with a belt again (trust me, it was very graphic and obviously not the first time), I would make certain his children were removed from the home. I think it’s entirely situational.
I used to work in retail in a large chain store. I had the opportunity on many occasions (being as I was in kids wear) to witness the frustration of moms on the edge of doing something they may regret. I am on of those types that just can’t keep my mouth shut. Seeing a parent with a child standing in a shopping cart or sitting on the edge. I’ve had to say something. I am unable to mind my own business when it comes to a child being mistreated. I am capable however of knowing when it’s overboard, and when it’s just a good parent letting her child know they’re behavior is inappropriate. Screaming or berating a child in my presence is generally NOT a good idea because I’m highly outspoken and deal daily with the effects of child abuse on my own step-son (at the hands of bio mom.)
I have asked a distresed parent if I might be of some help and take action based on the response to that question. My husband is less likely to get involved, calling it interference. In one instance, the apparent ‘mom’ was actually the older sister of an uncooperative child ill-equipped to handle a rambunctious bundle of energy but determined to give her own mother a break in chaos at home. We have since become great friends with this family and occasionally respite each other. In the very few occasions I’ve seen a reaction that just seems/feels wrong, I get help from a store manager or ask if I can call someoen to help. I don’t know how or why the feelings I have run as deeply as they do, but a “Mind your own business” response doesn’t always find me doing that. I have spoken harshly to my own children and told another woman MYOB once an I was grateful she didn’t, it caused me to breathe a second time just to say MYOB again and it stopped in my throat, no words, just relief not to be invisible.
To me, it’s as much about the parent as the child in most cases. I’ve been lucky to be able to help and be helped.