It's been awhile since I updated you all on how my personal battle with depression is going. I'm not quite sure how to sum things up because there is so much going on in my life.
Having said that, I thinks it's safe to say that I've been better but I've also been worse.
I'm still taking my medication every day. I'm still on 40mg of Paxil/day. I do think it helps and while it doesn't make things perfect it does help me to make it through the day. Sometimes, making it to the end of the day is a victory in and of itself.
I've thought about paying a visit to my doctor but truthfully, I'm not sure there's a whole lot more she can do. I talked with her in a few occasions and the reality is that because of the nature of my life, there aren't any medications that will make everything better. At most, they can take the edge off and help me to better manage things.
She's right.....
I think overall, I'm doing okay. I'm not panicking about anything. I'm not dealing with perseverating thoughts, as I once was.
These are all positives.
What I do struggle with is being rundown and lacking the motivation to get anything done. I'm just really exhausted from everything and today for example, I couldn't wake up. Because I couldn't wake up, Lizze had to get up with the boys, which isn't easy for her. To make things worse, when I did wake up and come downstairs, I fell asleep on the couch.
I think the week was just catching up with me. I did a ton of driving this week and I also have a lot on my mind as the year winds down.
However, I feel really bad that I put Lizze in that position because she was miserable herself and needs her rest.
I definitely need to get more exercise because that would also have a positive impact as well.
All that said, I'm surviving and I'm grateful for that.
As always, my message is that depression is nothing to ashamed of. If you feel that you may be suffering from depression, please talk to someone you trust. Get help, you'll be glad you did.
