The impact of Gavin's behaviors are far reaching and long lasting. Lizze is simply incredibly stressed out. I don't ever remember seeing her this bad.
She's really struggling with this because she loves Gavin so much but in truth, she's afraid of him.
This is in many ways, her worst nightmare come true. She had done everything superhumanly possible to provide Gavin with love, compassion and acceptance. She doesn't want Gavin to turn out the way his biological father did, none of us do..
There is this ever present fear that nothing is going to change his course. The future isn't predetermined and Gavin is still very young, so he hold tightly to hope. Having said that, his behaviors are scary, for all of us, and they continue to escalate.
We are to the point of having to call the police on our 12 year old little boy because he has become so dangerous when angered. I know how hard that is for me and I can't imagine what that feels like to her.
I wish we just had a sign from Gavin that he *gets it*. That he understands what is happening and that he wants to change his behavior and make better decisions. I wish that we could believe him when he says he's *sorry. *In fact, I wish he *meant it* when he says he's *sorry. *I told him today that saying he's sorry at this point doesn't mean anything to us. He needs to *show* us that he sorry, by making better choices and doing this to his family, several times a day.
He doesn't get it. Maybe someday he will, but right now, it's very clear that he doesn't.
Lizze can't physically take anymore. I'm at the end of my rope as well. The boys are beyond stressed out and need to feel safe in their own home.
We want Gavin home but not the behaviors.
Does that make any sense?
This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung's Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.
*-Lost and Tired*
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This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung's Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.
