Today is Family Meeting day.  This happens the day following admission and is a meeting between us,  the social worker and Gavin.

We will go over everything again and talk very frankly with Gavin.

We have decided to have no contact with him while he’s there.  This was not an easy decision but one we hope will send a message. We had to do this the last time as well.  We’ve told him many times,  that if he ever goes back to the psych unit for behavioral reasons that no one would visit him.

Now before you judge me,  please understand that this was not easy.  We have to take all the fun out of this admission and ensure that he never wants to return.

Lizze cried last night when we left without talking to Gavin.  As difficult and heartbreaking as that was,  for both of us,  it was the right thing to do.  Sometimes the right thing to do isn’t what you want but it is what it is.

I hate seeing Gavin in the psych unit.  I always want to cave in and just bring him home.

Those of you out there familiar with this experience,  known what I talking about.  No part of this feels good.  In fact,  personally,  I feel like I’ve failed Gavin somehow. 

Something else to remember that I think some of my newer readers aren’t as familiar with.  Aspergers is not what has him here.  If this was simply Aspergers,  we could likely manage,  not that it would be easy.

The problem is the other mental health issues have taken him today darker place. He has a form of schizophrenia that contributes to much of his behavior.  He also has conduct disorder,  which can be an early stage leading to sociopathy,  not that it’s a guaranteed thing but the odds aren’t in his favor. 

It’s very difficult to imagine what this is like until you experience it first hand.

In truth,  most people in our lives didn’t believe us until they witnessed this themselves. That one of the first things Dr.  Patti tells people.  She always says, “if I hadn’t witnessed these things first hand,  I would never have believed what he is capable of.”

Please understand that while Gavin is very clearly artistic,  his demons lie more in these other problems. Does that make sense?

Thank you once again for all your love and support.  I truly,  truly appreciate.  🙂

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.