I write about this many times ready but I want to touch on this again. The reason is that I really think that it’s important for people to see an accurate picture of what life as a special needs parent can be like.
There are many, many special needs parents out there, each with their own unique set of circumstances.
I’m not speaking for anyone but myself here.
Life in the Lost and Tired house is difficult on any given day. Without sounding cliche, any day that we physically survive, is considered a good day.
So far we have survived the bad days as well but the bad days are really bad.
Now bad doesn’t mean the same for everyone, so let me clarify. A bad day is a day like today, for example.
Today was extremely difficult and very overwhelming. To put it bluntly, Elliott’s off his rocker. This medication issue, has made Elliott freaking crazy. I mean that in the most loving but realistic way.
He is driving me freaking crazy… I love him completely but goddamn if he is testing the limits of my patience.
It’s not his fault and hopefully he will be getting better soon.
At the same time as Elliott’s going through this, Lizze is in the middle of a flare and spent most of the day in bed.
Part of the reason for her sleeping is the fact that her meds had to be increased to control her tremors. They are getting so bad that she has a hard time doing anything that requires a remotely steady have.
Gavin is having problems at school now. Tonight, he had a huge and I mean huge meltdown tonight. He seems to have a very low threshold for everything right now. It doesn’t take anything to set him off.
Emmett is just pushing everyone’s buttons. It’s like pouring gasoline on a fire.
This is what I consider one of the bad days.
I can’t even imagine coping with this if I hadn’t gone on antidepressants. I have been battling with depression for a few years now and as things get more challenging, my depression becomes all that much more important to manage.
If my depression isn’t managed I can’t take care of my family. I have a really hard time even getting out of bed. I also crumble under all the pressure of trying to raise 3 special needs kids.
I will say that there aren’t any medications available that will help if I have many more days like today.
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Rob, I feel for you. My wife and I are both on anti-depressants. With my fibro and Lupus, it takes very little stress to cause me to flare. Sucks that it is that way, but as a special needs parent we need soldier on. I need to increase meds when my stress gets to a certain level, so am in regular contact with my doctor. She knows and trusts that I know enough about my conditions to maintain my prednisone levels on my own. It sucks to have to be on them, coupled with the lopressor, norvasc, amitriptylene, zoloft, plaquenil, extra-strength arthritis forumla tylenol, tramadol, and what not. Plus the meds for my thyroid. yuck. Anyway, you are in my thoughts everyday. You are a strong man Rob, and I am honored to consider you a friend.
Thanks Carl. Lizze and I are both honored to call you friend as well. For the record, I have no idea how you do it. Please know I have nothing but respect for you and your family. 🙂
If people like you and liz didn't look out for the needs of your kids, who would? we do it because this is what we were meant to do. For some reason we have been blessed with kids who have special needs. we can rail against everything that is and never come up with an answer.
I was in IT before I started doing this, and honestly, even on the worst days when I want to pull out my hair, feel that this is what I was put on this earth to do.