I had my meeting with Dr. Pattie last night and we let the boys play while I got her up to speed. I explained all of what was going on and we discussed how best to handle it.
We decided that my idea of catching Gavin off guard was the best approach.
We sat the boys down and Dr. Pattie asked Elliott to explain what had happened. Elliott very calmly explained what happened and how it made him feel. Meanwhile, Gavin is freaking out and winding up for a big meltdown.
During this time, Elliott just started talking about all the things that Gavin does to him that upsets him.
Gavin, at first, denied everything. However, his response confirmed what Elliott was saying.
Gavin was given a chance to talk but he just started yelling at his chair. I removed Gavin from the conversation and made him sit on his hands and with his legs crossed. I did this, as I always do, because his hands and feet are not safe when he gets this upset. It keeps him from hurting those around him. As soon as he has regained control, he was invited back into the conversation..
Once he rejoined the rest of us, the conversation turned to him. We explained that when you get to be older, you cannot just touch people because you want to. We don’t kiss on the lips and certainly not without permission.
We instituted a new rule. When you get to be Gavin’s age, you need to ask permission before making physical contact with anyone. Any physical contact with his brothers will be done in a supervised manner.
Then we talked about all the really good things about Gavin, of which there are many.
The conversation ended on a good note and I’m hoping that, in conjunction with the medications increase, this will be enough to correct this behavior.
Everyone seems to be doing alright this morning, so hopefully, we can move forward.
Sounds like a great solution. I like the "sit on his hands and with his legs crossed" idea… I'm going to teach my son to do the same when he gets upset.
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Cool. I think it\’s pretty simple because it\’s doesn\’t hurt him and it keeps everyone safe. If he wants to get up, all he has to do is be safe. For us it puts the control in Gavin\’s hands. He decides when he\’s ready to get up, if that makes sense. 🙂
Glad it might help you…..
Hoping that this plan works for everyone and you can have a little more peace in your home.