Over the past 10 years or so, we have been through many things, as far as special needs parenting goes.
I was looking back on the last decade and I started thinking about something and I thought I would pose this to you folks to see what your experience is.
When Gavin was in kindergarten, he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Despite having two independent, very repudiable doctors confirm this diagnosis, the kindergarten teacher wouldn’t accept it. I don’t want to drag all that drama up again but you needed some background.
Anyway, this teacher was a complete nut job. She was convinced that Gavin problems were food allergies and would openly express her opinions to Gavin. Gavin became convinced that everytime he ate anything with sugar that he would get sick. Anytime he make a bad choice it was because of yellow dye. The list goes on and on.
She would look over the ingredients of his lunch and decide where or not he could have it. We had no knowledge of this until much later.
My point is that, this woman’s actions have profoundly affected Gavin, even to this day. If he gets a tummy ache, he will say something like, “I must of had to much sugar”.
Many of the dietary issues we have had with him stemmed from this idiot teacher.
It has taken a great deal of therapy over many, many years to begin to overcome this problem.
Gavin is finally doing better now but occasionally we still have problems that resurface.
So my question is, has someone ever said something to your child, regardless of intentions, that has affected them in a way that was very difficult to work past?
Does that make sense?
i deal with thins like this all the time. at least i have convinced the "professional people" in my sons life the he has special needs. he is very intelligent but things like germs and being told things are wrong or the "rules" affect him to the point where he has issues with eating food if it touches each other or if he sees someone else touch it. and the "health program" at school gives guidelines for what is healthy and what is not and my son makes a huge deal if he witnesses someone drinking pop.
these things are not the worst, as rules for the most part, are okay. and him being a picky eater is terrible on us, but it isnt anything new, he gags on food and has a limited diet…. he has just picked up new reasons not to eat the food in front of him… which is the ongoing struggle since he was 9 months old.
THE WORST part is when he is compared to his twin sister, innocent maybe, but damaging. he suffers self esteem because of it, he feels bad and he starts to grunt (his coping mechanism). he gets frustrated and hurt when he hears judgment. it isnt HIS FAULT that he cant eat food without gagging, saying why dont you eat sandwiches like your sister, or why dont you like potatoes like your sister??? THIS is the worst because it is coming constantly from someone he loves. members of the family. his grandmother is the worst for it, i have flipped on her at more than one occasion for her slip of the tongue. so finally i had enuf. i told her. would YOU like a pile of raw pork fat for supper. she says ewww no, why would you say that. i responded. WELL for my son, eating mash potatoes makes him gag liek raw pork fat. he tells me it makes his tummy sick. so the next time you compare him in this way i will serve you raw pork fat. GOT IT. her face 😮
our children are impressionable… and special needs children are EVEN MORE SO. they are NOT stupid. they are actually smarter than you give credit and the information YOU as an adult in their life, is to them…. FACT. they learn it from you and believe you. and put it into their little file folder minds, they do not forget, your words damage them! people need to educate themselves on special needs children and on GENERAL commons sense! even my "normal" daughter feels the effects of "adults with small brains!!!" they are pouring information into her sponge of a mind. she is highly intelligent. in my opinion, some adults words are poison. We need to choose our words carefully when talking to ANY child, they RETAIN sooooo much!!!!
i know how it feels to try to deal with the brainwashing someone influential has poured into your child… i wish the best for Gavin and the other two boys… your struggles are shared all over the world.
Wow! She definately went overboard. Kinda unintentionally made me feel weird though. My son is on the spectrum but if he has sugar/starch and to many preservatives he is much worse as far as behavior is concerned. His digestion doesn`t work as well and he doesn`t get the nutrients that he needs for his brain to function at his best. I have some of the same problems as well. I`m so sorry you had someone so high handed in your son`s life; you know him the best and know what works for him.
Some people just don’t understand the impact they have! It really is awful the damage people cause because they “know” the “answer” to everything! Best wishes to you and enjoy this little crazy thing we call life:)