So I have been preoccupied lately with worrying about things are aren’t really a problem. These past 10 years have begun taking their toll on me. Sometimes I find it harder to cope with life then others. The past few days have been some of the tougher days I can remember. I have been raising Gavin for the better part of a decade now and it hasn’t been easy.
The stress just seems to build up over time and come to a head during times like this where I just feel buried. I worry about stuff that is tangible because most of the rest of our lives is outside of my control.
I’m trying to develop better coping skills as I’m sure that will help. Sometimes though, life just really sucks and no amount of positive thinking will make it better. However, that doesn’t mean that life has to be bad. I want things to get better. I also want to be able to enjoy life and not be so stressed out all the time.
How do you guys handle stress? Do you have any pointers or advice?
– Lost and Tired
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My advice to you Rob.. is to take life day by day. You can only tackle issues one day at a time. You cannot pan out how tomorrow will be or change how yesterday was.. but TODAY you can take into your hands and help the outcome. And in the meantime.. if you have a moment alone.. which I know is hard with a family as dynamic as yours.. find a hobby that YOU enjoy. Something that noone else has to be included in. Maybe sketching or listening to music.. and try to set aside at least ten minutes a day to be by yourself and clear your head doing your hobby. That's how I deal with my stress everyday. Because music is my passion in life, I take time to listen to songs I like and clear my head. I usually find I come back a much happier person and a little more patient and less over-whelmed.
Don't know if this will speak to you… but I have a poem:
My skeleton is made of hope
Sometimes steely strong
Titanium alloy
Sometimes brittle
Fragile
Tentative
Chalk-like
My muscles, tendons, flesh
Are attached and connected
Held together by these bones
And in turn holding these together
Chalk or steel
The structure that keeps me going
The form of my tomorrow
This skeleton holds me up
Into the unknown
Carefully, steely strong, tentative
The framework of possibility
As I move ahead
Shift my weight
Climb or retreat
With all that I feel
With all that I carry
At the very centre of me
My skeleton is made of hope
Leah Kelley
You don't have to know the whole future for you or for your child. It is not possible anyway… you just have to know the next step… one step at a time can take you an awfully long ways: http://30daysofautism.wordpress.com/2011/06/12/sk…
My recent post Perspectives on time and the end of a busy week: Autism and Temporal Development
Ok, I haven't even gotten past the first sentence and I love you (bloggishly, of course). I'm now a follower and a donator. You and your wife rock, I know it's hard. Hang in there, sharing your stuff is one of the best things you can do. I'm a recently single mom of two ADHD kids (and ADHD myself). My son is *this close* to being on the spectrum himself, and I work for an organization that deals with kiddos with disabilities everyday. Have you guys applied for grants? Are the kids getting services? (Sorry if that's already mentioned, I haven't gotten that far into your blog yet).
My recent post My children are beggars
I love it when people share thoughts and views and personal experience. I love NEW readers and I value your opinions as well. We are ALL fighting the same fight maybe just on different fronts. My wife has ADHD as well. Small world. The boys do get services but we have never gotten a grant or honestly ever applied for one. I NEED to do that though.
I would also like to say that my wife was a single mom when I met her 10 years ago. I have the utmost respect for what you do. Truly amazing. Thank you for everything and I hope to read more of your comments in the future. 🙂
You know… I get this way every so often… I have two boys & a hubby on the spectrum. Honestly I paint, go out dancing every so often.. We give so much, and our children require so much patience, That we forget about what makes us happy.. Now day to day… I have coffee breaks. Yep I walk away from their chaos, tears and tantrums and have a cup a coffee… most days that works.. and I remind myself to think of the present.. and I think to myself, "this too shall pass." 100s of times a week… Good luck hun.
My recent post First Logo…thoughts?
First of all I like your logo. 🙂 Secondly as a father to 3 boys and a wife on the spectrum I truly appreciate your comments. I don't do coffee breaks but I do walk/run. That really helps to get myself centered. I used to play XBOX 360 but have really lost interest lately, which is ironic since it took a long time to get it.
This blog has been a HUGE outlet for me and I love hearing from people and learning for other peoples experience. Thank you so very much for stopping by 🙂
hahaha thanks so much.. I am still working it out.. I am trying to design a better page layout.. i'm not liking this out of the box one from wordpress..
blogging has been a huge outlet for me as well.. sooo much happens in the day, i wished I could remember it all. But it's only the really funny ones or great ideas that stick…
I'm glad you appreciate my comments. It's hard to explain sometimes the whorl wind you live in when you have one autistic child.. but when it's the whole family… people just look at you like, you are insane, that somehow you planned to have such chaos. All in all, I am really glad that both boys are on the spectrum. They are so extreme and they learn so much from each other. I am sooooo very glad that I don't have one NT & one autistic kid.. It would break my heart to hear the other not get their sibling… at least, my boys get why the other is covering his ears or eyes, or chewing on his pants…
Take care
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