Today is a bitter sweet. We will “actually” be going to a family get together today for the first time in quiet a while. I say bitter sweet because Emmett won’t be with us. Last night Emmett spent the night at Lizze’s parents house so we could have a desperately needed break. They are keeping him today and taking him to Easter dinner. Lizze, myself and the other 2 boys will be going to my family’s for Easter dnner.

We weren’t going to go because we would just spend the entire time chasing Emmett around and Lizze can’t physically do it. It would end up falling mostly on me and I could do that at home. People always tell us that they will help us if we come but it NEVER happens. It ends up being us an so we don’t get to visit anyone. Honestly, it’s our responsibilty and not theirs but when we are promised help we are counting on getting it.Today is a bit different because Emmett won’t be there now so a huge part of the stress will not be there today. It sounds like a good thing, right? The answer is not so simple as few are when you are a special needs parent.

You see, the stress may be gone but that void is immediately filled to the brim with guilt. Guilt because my family isn’t together for the holiday. Guilt because in order to get a brief period of “normalcy” we would have to choose to part with one of our kids for the day. Guilt because we actually made the choice to part with one of our kids for the day in order to have that brief period of “normalcy”.

When you are a special needs parent life is full of these “wonderful” scenarios. Life is full of choices that many typical families simply don’t face.

– Lost and Tired