We just got home from Akron Children’s Hospital. Gavin has been admitted and will most likely be there for 10 days. We were told we did the right thing because he is in bad shape. Gavin did pretty well but they were concerned about his breathing. Gavin was given a breathing treatment. They used a nebulizer that was in the shape of a dragon to be less scary for the kids. We put the mask on a Gavin started freaking out. We had to (rather I had to) hold the mask on so his airways would open up.  After a few minutes the treatment was done and we walked into the hall way. Gavin just started to lose it. We were trying to calm him down and figure out what had happened. It turns out that Gavin thought the mask was the “Rat Face” he has been seeing. The same “Rat Face” that jumped off the wall and ate all the skin off his arm. This is one of the hallucinations Gavin has been having. Like an idiot I hadn’t thought about that before we put the mask on his face. So he thought the “Rat Face” was back and trying eat his face.

We are scheduled to return Monday for a meeting. They are leaving his meds alone for now and going to do a complete neuro work up. They don’t want to change anything with his meds until after the neuro work up so they don’t muddy the water. They said he will be there for at least 10 days. He seemed comfortable there when we left because it was a positive experience when he was there the last time.

Lizze and I are completely exhausted and stressed out beyond anything we have been before. I know we did the right thing but as Lizze put it “it feels like we are throwing him to the wolves”.  This doesn’t ever get any easier and I hope none of you ever have to experience this type of heartbreak (although I know some of you already know this kind of pain).

To make matters worse our van that just got out of the shop is having trouble again. We probably shouldn’t have driven it up there but we had no choice. The check engine light is on again and the engine which was supposed to be fixed is acting worse now then before it was fixed. The soonest it can get in is Monday. That will be cutting it very close since we have to be back at Akron at the same time.

God must think that I am stronger then I feel right now. I think he may have grossly over estimated my ability to handle this. Please keep us all in your prayers.

Lost and Tired