I should follow up by saying this letter was written about 2 years ago. The adoption was successful about 1 1/2 years ago. However, even after the adoption the grandmother still came after us. In Dec 2009 the fifth district court of appeals ruled that our rights (including Gavin’s) had been grossly violated and that the court (in the small town that bio dad and grandmother lived in) has abused its power. This finally put in end to everything. Nine years of begging and pleading for someone to listen to us and to the doctors. Nine years of screaming to deaf ears that Gavin was being abused. We knew it and the doctors knew it. Nine years we will never get back.

Lizze and I have never known each other without them trying to destroy our lives. We have never been able to do anything without worrying about how this could be used against. We started out 2010 free for the first time. Now we are struggling to figure out what to do. I know that sounds strange but we have been doing one thing for so long it’s tough to figure out what else to do. We are slowly putting the pieces back together.

We are currently and probably forever challenged with raising Gavin to be the best he can be. It’s really easy to forget how hard we fought for chance to do this when he cracks the walls underneath his bedroom from throwing a fit. It’s easy to forget that Gavin is a victim in the middle of all the drama.

You can see in his eyes he not the same child anymore. It’s difficult to read this letter and not relive everything. Since that letter was written we have seen a gradual change take place in him. While he is just as autistic as he was then the other mental health issues are becoming more prevalent. We see more bipolar and conduct disorder related issues then the aspie ones.

Anyway, I started this blog as a more of a therapeutic thing for myself. A chance to purge every once in a while. I wasn’t sure how people would take hearing the truth about what our life is like. So often we sugar coat everything so others feel more comfortable about our situation. I just can’t do it anymore. It’s simply to exhausting. I hope that reading our story helps others to realize how tough it is to raise an autistic child. I also wanted others to know that they aren’t alone.

I hope this trend continues down the road. We can all share ideas and strategies that may have worked in our lives.

This is our life….

lost and Tired